tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25564943148015774202024-03-19T03:04:46.456-07:00Swiss LarkLindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.comBlogger843125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-49385442192933922612021-11-18T10:58:00.007-08:002022-03-16T00:45:37.586-07:00On Hobbies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMbUFzzJckrq6i9NR9ptvKmLaw7bs1pwUlNgeLvLN0RH-tM1pQuiaz7y3I6-pJrZd_gi4ohF5J2bNZyNlBnXPV0WS8NenCuZBiiUt33lZX5Q_R41RK_5l_QB4xTm-GMPCFkhntcd4UPA/s2048/B3E746CC-BDDA-45B5-8423-A004D6C0EDCA.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMbUFzzJckrq6i9NR9ptvKmLaw7bs1pwUlNgeLvLN0RH-tM1pQuiaz7y3I6-pJrZd_gi4ohF5J2bNZyNlBnXPV0WS8NenCuZBiiUt33lZX5Q_R41RK_5l_QB4xTm-GMPCFkhntcd4UPA/s16000/B3E746CC-BDDA-45B5-8423-A004D6C0EDCA.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><p>Somewhere along the way, between leaving Zurich in 2014 and finally getting back here this year, my hobbies were lost. One by one they dropped away. I stopped knitting. I stopped writing. I stopped podcasting. I stopped painting my nails. (Even silly hobbies are self care and good for the soul.) I stopped decorating and doting on my house. I stopped cooking and baking. I more or less stopped reading. I stopped playing with my hair and makeup. Basically, I stopped enjoying my life.</p><p>Then lockdown came along and everything ground to a halt. Honestly, the pandemic simultaneously helped and hindered. During the first, big, months-long lockdown in the US, I couldn’t help but take a long hard look at my life. Back in my twenties, everyone loved the book <a href="https://amzn.to/3Dy1kl8" target="_blank">The Alchemist</a> by Paolo Cohelo. But I knew that I was supposed to wait to read that book. J owned it and it sat on the bookshelves of all of our different apartments and houses throughout the years. During the lockdown, I didn’t read it, but I listened to it on audio book. And there was that sourdough craze! I got really good at sourdough. As the weather warmed and spring came, I took up writing morning pages every single day. What started with taking walks around the park by my house while listening to The Alchemist turned into long walks every day with my Apple Watch and a podcast. Then I topped off the long walks with a workout when I got back home! I lost ten pounds and felt so much clarity. I really do believe that I was able manifest the move back to Zurich during that time. Absolutely.</p><p>When fall 2020 came and the weather changed, it was darker, I was helping my kids do school-from-home on laptops and I was definitely not doing morning pages, or walks, or any workouts. I gained back the ten pounds and then some thanks to the sheer terror of following through with this move. My own personal reign of terror spanned over the course of months and months and it just about killed me. It came in the form of doubts about the move from myself, and guilt trips and disapproval from others. When things with the move didn’t go exactly as I had planned, I found myself in a strange mix of total joy at being back in Zurich and complete horror at it not being enough. I knew full well in advance that moving back here wouldn’t magically fix everything (in fact it made everything from parenting to marriage to finishing my masters much much harder) but the fallout was immense. Substantial.</p><p>Summer was miserable. The weather was complete garbage and I still didn’t have a job. My masters completion was on hold and I felt powerless. It felt like I was stuck and yet I was so happy to be back in Zurich and living in Switzerland. It was confusing. I had the occasional burst of energy, during which I might rearrange a room or make a good dinner, but for the most part I was kind of checked out. I did some coaching with <a href="https://rikkilee.co/" target="_blank">Rikki Lee</a> and it was so beneficial. She uses The Five Elements from traditional Chinese medicine to understand emotional patterns and tendencies. The dust had settled just enough to focus and evaluate and look back and begin to process the last 7 years. I truly didn’t have time to do that while I was in the US because life was busy and demanding and I looking back it’s like I was in perpetual survival mode. </p><p>Of course all of my hobbies had fallen away! I kept trying to hold onto them as part of my identity, but even my identity seemed to completely fall away. When the pandemic came along, it was a relief for me. I was so burnt out, way beyond anything four days at the beach could fix, and I needed that time out. (Obviously I’m only speaking to my own experience here.)</p><p>I wake up sort of stunned and amazed most mornings that I’m here. I’m in the place I longed to get back to more than anything, with a job I genuinely love in the very field I went back to school for (by the way, my Masters is going to be fully completed by the end of January and I’ll be a fully certified Washington State School Counselor:). I’m blown away that my kids are learning German and making friends and we’re becoming part of the local community. You know what else? I’m painting my nails again. Roasting chickens. Baking pies. Checking the schedule of the adult ballet classes I used to love so I can get back to them. Writing more. Reading more. I ordered the embroidery kit pictured from Cotton Clara and I can’t wait to get started on it. Since moving I still don’t have an iron, so I need to get one of those to make the fabric nice and flat before I start stitching, but I will! I’m decorating and planning where all of our artwork will go. I’m enjoying the little things like buying a new scent of fabric softener, or lighting candles and turning on the string lights on my balcony in the evenings.</p><p>In season two of YOU, Will (at that time) says when he gets the job at the Anavrin bookstore, “I think I just felt my soul come back into my body.” I binged season two of YOU on the plane ride back from Zurich to Spokane when I visited in January 2020. I heard that line and rewound it, listened to it again, then paused it and wrote it down. I wanted to feel my soul come back into my body. It was then that I realized it had left. Or maybe I had just left it in Zurich and been briefly reunited with it? I cannot say for sure. Now that I’m back here, and working, life feels good. I feel that my soul has come back into my body. It’s not perfect. Moving internationally as a family strains your kids and your marriage in major ways. But I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I’m enjoying my life a lot.</p>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-81204525552739127322021-11-05T17:15:00.009-07:002022-03-16T00:45:24.865-07:00Weekend Links!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJEQ7YcTr4aQ2Ov9f_g0jNlbaknSKK5WagMNbWwiX55dUbSIj9Vljh173hKhVFnqrY6xwrT9QN9ap06hl6J8Z71Vig-WJrYLT6RFD_XvWUlflfG057FLk2zDjuZOj_3ZflF7Gmasemig/s1857/nail+art.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1857" data-original-width="1240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJEQ7YcTr4aQ2Ov9f_g0jNlbaknSKK5WagMNbWwiX55dUbSIj9Vljh173hKhVFnqrY6xwrT9QN9ap06hl6J8Z71Vig-WJrYLT6RFD_XvWUlflfG057FLk2zDjuZOj_3ZflF7Gmasemig/s16000/nail+art.webp" /></a></div><p></p><p>So it looks like I'm back! Starting my job has been the absolute best thing for me. I loved my internship back in Spokane before we moved, and I really, really sorely missed it once we arrived in Switzerland. Of course, then everything was so busy and chaotic and overwhelming that I was really spinning for a long time. It's been a crazy transition and it still doesn't feel complete. And yet - it's nearly one year since we arrived. February seems just around the corner, even though it feels like we just got here. Phew!</p><p>Since starting work, I feel so much more like myself. I gave myself a gel manicure at home yesterday and painted my nails black for the Scorpio new moon which feels so festive and dark and cozy at the same time. We've been using our fireplace in the evenings and I can't get over how cozy and homey our apartment is feeling. Yesterday, I went to Denner and stocked up on new scents of laundry detergent and fabric softener. I found my favorite dishwasher tabs on super Aktion! I'm enjoying the little joys and pleasures in life again in a way I haven't for some time. I absolutely love my job and its positive effects are rippling out through my life. It's so nice. <br /></p><p>And, speaking of little joys, here are a few links for your weekend:</p><p>Pretty <a href="https://cupcakesandcashmere.com/beauty/how-to-do-the-prettiest-festive-nail-art-for-holidays-color-camp" target="_blank">nail art</a> (pictured).</p><p>I can't wait for our local <a href="https://z-nuni.com/raebelichtli/">Räbeliechtli-Umzug</a> tomorrow night!</p><p>Coco and Theo are <a href="https://famigros.migros.ch/de/ausfluege-und-freizeit/basteln/raebeliechtli-schnitzen?utm_source=pinterest.com&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=fam_pinterest_2021_kw7-52&pp=0&epik=dj0yJnU9R0J2UUlKMmowZ0RxU1oxUVA1VUU5OU5YZ1VGaS1uZm0mcD0xJm49aGk5UkE3V2lCRVo5RkVDYW1DMzJldyZ0PUFBQUFBR0dGQVNN">carving their turnips</a> at school today.</p><p>How stunning is this <a href="https://bit.ly/3H4l0Q2">Chanel Advent Calendar</a>? </p><p>I adore <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwie7KaFwYH0AhUrh_0HHey9BKIQyCl6BAgFEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DmRD0-GxqHVo&usg=AOvVaw3jCDQFjBgjjbKfbqdxLSwO">this song</a> and keep listening to it on repeat.</p><p>For Coco, I got this <a href="https://amzn.to/3GOqVIG">Advent Calendar</a>. </p><p>And for Theo, I got <a href="https://amzn.to/3CQxvMx">this one</a>.</p><p>This made me rethink my <a href="https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/food-and-drink/i-m-a-mexican-irish-chef-we-grew-up-eating-avocados-but-i-ll-never-touch-them-again-1.4718228">avocado toast</a>. </p><p>I hope you have a beautiful weekend! Maybe I'll even see you back here next week. </p><p><br /></p>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-58222843333189589872021-05-03T09:39:00.004-07:002022-03-16T00:45:12.873-07:00Drafts Galore!<p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQnT9n1eR-HPUZ5LN7Jcm2eppAFMlkOo6IhNyCeN2MW2dHx4yDV1MbnZQuOskfgCTNuAu9I1OZy4vkmYU7oLB8NHNpUey0XoCbPY13y1DV3fofAN3j1TwjahkOJDz5OfZoH__en-l9nA/s2048/5D182477-9DF5-4110-8AF2-BF0CBD8FD5D5.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQnT9n1eR-HPUZ5LN7Jcm2eppAFMlkOo6IhNyCeN2MW2dHx4yDV1MbnZQuOskfgCTNuAu9I1OZy4vkmYU7oLB8NHNpUey0XoCbPY13y1DV3fofAN3j1TwjahkOJDz5OfZoH__en-l9nA/s16000/5D182477-9DF5-4110-8AF2-BF0CBD8FD5D5.jpeg" /></a></p><p></p><p>I’m doing that thing again - that I’ve been doing for the last three years (maybe more?!) - where I have drafts upon drafts upon drafts saved, but essentially no published posts on here. I just don’t know how to blog anymore.</p><p>I asked Alexa this morning how many days ago February 11 was, because I know from experience that right around 90 days after arriving in a new place, there is a dip. And, my friends, it has been 80 days since I arrived in Switzerland on February 11 and I’m on the downward slope of that dip for sure. I feel myself slipping and sliding and I can’t stop it. It’s funny because this dip happens whether things are going well or not. It’s just a thing that happens. The transition from one phase to another, much like the trimesters in a pregnancy. When you move from one to the other, you’re still pregnant, it’s all still going the way it’s going, but it changes in some ways. In my case, this 90 day dip is usually the easing, creaking, uncomfortable pull from novelty to normal. Or maybe normal-ish.</p><p>This time around, most aspects of this move are going the way I had wished and hoped they would. It’s no exaggeration to say that every day I wake up so happy and feel so incredibly lucky to be back here. I’m still pinching myself 80 days into it. But in other ways, I feel like I’m getting sucker punched. You see, I was ready for the dip. I expected the initial bliss to retreat into normality. But this feels different. I feel like I’m being pushed in a different direction than I had planned for myself. It occurred to me today that despite my best efforts, I am being pushed out of my comfort zone and I do not like it. Instead of the usual pull into normal which feels like a groan and a pain, I feel like I’m being ejected from my seat and flying feet first through the air fumbling and freaking out and groping for the ripcord. But I can’t seem to find it. I’m going into a free fall I cannot avoid or stop.</p><p>I did not see this coming. </p><p>I had a plan. It was a safe and reliable and I worked my tail off at it and so it’s weird and annoying and just makes me furious that it’s not working. Safe. My plan was safe. Safety. Stability. These were things I really missed about Switzerland being back in the US. Switzerland is so safe. It’s stable. Many expats find it unbearably boring, but I love it. I do feel that safety now being back here. 100%. But it’s physical safety. It’s personal safety. The dangerous ejecting out of my comfort zone seems to be taking place entirely within.</p><p>I guess it makes sense. My time back in the States was nothing short of traumatizing. It all happened so fast and each phase roared in with such rapid, overwhelming succession, I never had time to process any of it. When you’re changing diapers and treading water at the same time, there isn’t a lot of time to reflect. </p><p>So that’s what I feel called to do now: reflect. On the need for control, on my definition of success versus others’. On what really matters to me now that I’m putting my money where my mouth is. Because I said for years and years and years that I would do anything to get back to Zurich. And I’ve done it all and I don’t have any excuses for not continuing. I need to push on and past and keep going toward the bigger things I want to do during my short time on this earth. I knew I didn’t want to do it anywhere but here, but now I see that getting back here was just the beginning. The real stuff is yet to be done, and apparently I don’t get to do it my safe and comfortable way. </p><p>What goes up must come down. Let’s see where I land, my dears. And apologies if this blog comes back in a really boring form, but I’m not writing for anyone but me for a bit. It’s just what I need. </p><p>And now I’m pressing “Publish” and NOT “Save” because I cannot resist the dip (catapult?!) and stay in my comfort zone any longer. </p>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-85704730401719816512021-02-13T07:42:00.006-08:002022-03-16T01:02:33.054-07:00We’re Back!<p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkD9Xzf0lNB3HKJ8eDDj_BGmfQ7UjH1Lw8OhWSDTY5XvXYE6vjlwOqFx7PMXW1Z3_kEk3uLF1xXbIN4lofjYn__MvQd85YW2hvqKtSuQRvEzYNAmJ_fHIIYeMJV60Qm1MBKEVeAsOLg/s2048/41DFDF17-71A9-4CB2-89FB-6A87B48546FB.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1495" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkD9Xzf0lNB3HKJ8eDDj_BGmfQ7UjH1Lw8OhWSDTY5XvXYE6vjlwOqFx7PMXW1Z3_kEk3uLF1xXbIN4lofjYn__MvQd85YW2hvqKtSuQRvEzYNAmJ_fHIIYeMJV60Qm1MBKEVeAsOLg/s16000/41DFDF17-71A9-4CB2-89FB-6A87B48546FB.webp" /></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I don’t even know where to begin, you guys. Being back in Switzerland - YES!!! We moved back. Head on over to my Instagram Stories and Highlights to get the whole scoop if you missed it - is so incredible. It honestly does not feel real. It seems totally insane and crazy and like the most natural and meant-to-be thing in the world all at the same time. I have dreamt of this moment, or rather the series of pivotal moments over the last few days, for many years. All four of us taking off on our flight back to Switzerland. Arriving in the Zurich airport and seeing the kids’ reactions. Of course, COVID-19 has completely changed how all of that went, but it was still just as special. Maybe even more special! On the flight, the captain came back and spoke to us twice. And being in quarantine, we have been literally spoiled by friends who have brought us care packages with food, wine & spirits, candles, bath salts, toys, books, even fresh flowers! </div><p></p><p>Like I said, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m so grateful that you’ve stayed with me throughout this journey. The almost 7 years we spent back in the US were so good and I’m truly glad that we had that experience. And now, I’m so happy to be back in Switzerland. No regrets. Onward! So what would you like to know? What questions do you have? What kind of pictures and posts do you want to see? Let me know in the comments.</p>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com94tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-6658098658883886042020-03-06T16:31:00.002-08:002022-03-14T08:27:44.960-07:00Have an Incredible Weekend!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, do you remember how I went to Miami a year ago for my brother's wedding and was not super excited about it? I had this image of Florida (and therefore Miami) that it was was nothing but old people with no style wearing big white tennis shoes and fanny packs? And then I went to Miami and fell so totally in love with it and couldn't wait to go back?! Well, thanks to the coronavirus flight sales and an Alaska Airlines companion ticket, J and I are going to Miami on Thursday. WOOHOO!</div>
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I cannot wait to spend four whole days lounging on the beach, napping, reading, writing, zoning out, doing nothing, and having conversations that aren't interrupted every 20 seconds. It is going to be bliss. I am forever grateful to Lisa, my sister-in-law of nearly one year exactly, for showing me what a wonderful place Miami is! And a huge shoutout to my mom, who will have Coco and Theo stay with her while we're gone. That is seriously the best! I think it's officially a tradition now, and I hope that I will go to Miami every year at this time of year until I die. I really is the best medicine to be warm, to feel the sun on your face and body, and to get away from it all.</div>
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Because I've never been, I also looked at going to Hawaii because there were some serious fare deals there. But in the end, J and I agreed that we wanted to go somewhere with no learning curve and no time wasted getting oriented to our surroundings. We're going back to the same hotel, where we know the beach, the pool and the drill for getting set up; and we love that so much is within walking distance. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it and it still doesn't seem real. Six sleeps 'til Miami. Pinch me!</div>
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And, here are some links for your weekend:</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/7RDRa3VXiQQ" target="_blank">A song for you</a>, if you're in a listening to music mood.</div>
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I went live this morning on Instagram doing my hair and makeup. <a href="http://www.instagram.com/swisslark" target="_blank">Watch it while you can</a>! It's in my stories.</div>
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This <a href="https://shopstyle.it/l/bes0c" target="_blank">CBD + Retinol oil</a> is gentle, yet effective. Just mix a few drops with your night cream.</div>
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Would you plant a <a href="https://moon-child.net/plant-magical-moon-garden-flowers-bloom-night-2/?fbclid=IwAR2fo_43Q4yoEEAKwuydX2wJfNg-GZBVU2MzD1W8koL_ijhws6etc3L-0MA" target="_blank">moon garden</a>?</div>
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<a href="https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/fringe-or-bangs" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/fringe-or-bangs" target="_blank">Why do Brits call it fringe and we call them bangs</a>?</div>
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<a href="https://www.thelocal.ch/20200304/more-cases-of-coronavirus-are-confirmed-in-switzerland" target="_blank">Switzerland has been hit pretty hard</a> with the coronavirus. :(</div>
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As a result, the Minister for Home Affairs has urged people to <a href="https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2020-03-01/no-kissing-please-were-swiss-minister-urges-over-coronavirus" target="_blank">stop kissing</a>. So I'm feeling pretty vindicated for <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2012/04/european-kisses.html" target="_blank">my own criticism of the kisses</a> back in 2012! ;)</div>
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If you're looking for some clean beauty here are <a href="https://goop.com/beauty/skin/toxic-beauty-documentary-and-clean-swaps/" target="_blank">some recommendations</a> (read <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2020/03/toxic-beauty.html" target="_blank">this post</a> if you missed it) .</div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/awakenwithjp/videos/633573624134301/" target="_blank">I actually live here</a>. </div>
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The one Christmas present my kids are s<a href="https://amzn.to/32UQAMo" target="_blank">till playing with every day</a>!</div>
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Enjoy your weekend and I will see you back here soon! </div>
<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-71431697092355642252020-03-04T19:25:00.002-08:002020-03-04T19:28:51.394-08:00Toxic Beauty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOwqYJkgMy8pR70HRgTAJE8EDs0JcD0v9Ht3HhW0O17zABOFY2Qm4F9X7VYL2kqUYPpnycGNxUrvaNnzpPk55cEuRpMGCuqdI7jTThhWZI28tKZVxs_EK6WyhJ3rq5w0qdOeZRBtV1fw/s1600/EFA05861-042A-4F22-9F1F-772FD22CE159.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOwqYJkgMy8pR70HRgTAJE8EDs0JcD0v9Ht3HhW0O17zABOFY2Qm4F9X7VYL2kqUYPpnycGNxUrvaNnzpPk55cEuRpMGCuqdI7jTThhWZI28tKZVxs_EK6WyhJ3rq5w0qdOeZRBtV1fw/s640/EFA05861-042A-4F22-9F1F-772FD22CE159.jpeg" width="426" /></a></div>
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Earlier this week, I watched the documentary <a href="https://amzn.to/39AArOR" target="_blank">Toxic Beauty</a>. This was not the first time I was exposed to information detailing the dangers of ingredients in cosmetics. I have heard all that before! But, it was the first time I felt compelled to scan the labels on all my shampoos, conditioners, dry shampoos, and deodorant. What I was I looking for? Parabens and phthalates. Also of particular worry was any product containing the words <i>talc</i>, and <i>parfum</i> or <i>fragrance</i> in the ingredients. </div>
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I heard about Toxic Beauty through a <a href="https://www.vogue.com/article/toxic-beauty-documentary" target="_blank">Vogue article</a> whose title includes the film’s main question: Are Skin-Care Products the New Cigarettes? As Jessica L. Yarborough explains in the article, skincare products seem to be positioned to be the next health scandal as cigarettes were in the 20th century. It’s a similar scenario, one in which we have toxicologists and corporations telling us that certain products and ingredients are safe, when in reality, the science of the compound effects of using multiple lotions, skincare and hair care products per day paint a very different picture. </div>
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I found it horrifying to learn that the US has not updated cosmetics regulations since 1938 and that 1,300 cosmetic ingredients are banned in Europe while here in the US we only have 11 banned ingredients. Eleven! While it was very upsetting to watch, I highly recommend <a href="https://amzn.to/39oDObv" target="_blank">Toxic Beauty</a> and I feel that it is especially relevant as our bodies and hormones change and become more susceptible to environmental factors as we age. </div>
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Do you keep your beauty routine clean? Is it sort of clean, sort of filthy (I’m looking at you beloved <a href="https://shopstyle.it/l/beoXu" target="_blank">Donna Karan deodorant</a>), or do you not pay attention to ingredients at all? I would love to hear your take on this. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Image via <a href="http://www.toxicbeautydoc.com/" target="_blank">Toxic Beauty</a>)</span></div>
<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-73114854766512303042020-03-02T13:43:00.001-08:002020-03-02T13:43:06.497-08:00Repat: Disenfranchised Grief<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX29kCAXMyMUrXRyNTUTYxg1QdTJe4K59ZUpHxLh3WtlgDc3NQHVwuV0dNhZOXJAFn1kLQiAXEuuitvBgzgB0_D00izvWXlkzFn-W4FnMB5toMvVfdHo_mlDlRun8F9F08Q9JwwVbBug/s1600/007b607779fdb787e68877433413776a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="846" data-original-width="564" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX29kCAXMyMUrXRyNTUTYxg1QdTJe4K59ZUpHxLh3WtlgDc3NQHVwuV0dNhZOXJAFn1kLQiAXEuuitvBgzgB0_D00izvWXlkzFn-W4FnMB5toMvVfdHo_mlDlRun8F9F08Q9JwwVbBug/s640/007b607779fdb787e68877433413776a.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
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This morning, I opened up Instagram and the first thing I saw was <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9PE2HgjW8R/" target="_blank">a post</a> about repat grief that absolutely blew my mind from Maria Latham of I Was An Expat Wife. The post was a photo with overlaid text that read, "Saying goodbye to my expat self is one of the hardest things I've ever done." Then, in the caption, she dove deeper, writing, "Re-entry comes with many losses...The hardest part is trying to make people understand that yes, it's possible to grieve the loss of a city, or a language, or a cuisine." She went on, explaining that as repats, "because our losses don't involve death, they're widely considered to be frivolous or irrelevant. As a result, disenfranchised grief responses tend to be more severe than those of death-related losses, precisely because we're told they don't 'count.'"<br />
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Wow. We are told they don't count.<br />
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Just like that, in a few simple sentences, Maria pinpointed and made crystal clear exactly what I have been feeling for more than five years, but have never been able to fully or accurately articulate. Five years! Maria's words were so poignant and accurate, it made my jaw drop to read them. I re-read her caption several times, nodding my head in disbelief that I had never heard of disenfranchised grief before now. It turns out that disenfranchised grief <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disenfranchised_grief" target="_blank">is very much a thing</a> and that it is the exact thing that has been weighing on me since I returned to the US from Switzerland.<br />
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I realize that not everyone experiences re-entry the way I did, but maybe you have. Based on what she wrote in that quick Instagram caption, Maria Latham definitely has. I can understand that from the outside looking in, it may seem genuinely frivolous or irrelevant, like it's not even a thing to those not experiencing it. My friends and family have watched me go through several deep depressions since I returned to the US and they can't even begin to genuinely connect those episodes with the grief and mourning I have been going through over losing Zurich and my life there. I get the feeling that their response to that is along the lines of "well, maybe, but, (add in something more concrete here, like finances or career) is the real problem." And just like that, what they unwittingly do is disenfranchise my grief, and make it not count. The grief of repatriation is very real and it's more than enough all by itself.<br />
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Throughout my repatriation journey, I have really struggled with this added dimension of being told, directly or indirectly, that my grief doesn't count. It has been maddeningly disorienting and isolating. As I have grappled with this, I have been able to isolate examples of my disenfranchised grief - times when (hopefully) well-meaning friends or family dismissed my feelings of loss. This has always felt terrible - and terribly significant! - but I have never been able to name it. It is so powerful to be able to name a feeling or phenomenon. Knowing that disenfranchised grief is an actual thing, and that it's what the debilitating feeling I have been experiencing all this time is actually called, makes it seem more accessible and manageable somehow. I'm also genuinely surprised that not one of the coaches, therapists, or healers I have worked with over the past five years has known or used that term.<br />
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Repatriating really is a lonely, difficult journey. So it makes sense that disenfranchised grief responses "tend to be more severe than those of death-related losses" doesn't it? How can we begin to process and move on with our grief when we're being told that it isn't even real? Does this concept resonate with you? If it does, please share your experiences in the comments below. And be sure to follow <a href="https://www.instagram.com/iwasanexpatwife/" target="_blank">@iwasanexpatwife</a> on Instagram. I always love her thoughtful and insightful posts and I think you will, too.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Photo via Pinterest/<a href="http://pullcast.eu/" target="_blank">PullCast</a>)</span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-8515295043693024012020-02-28T11:24:00.002-08:002020-02-28T11:29:37.786-08:00Have a mystical weekend.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga3Nr8Lx35TVrncdjkh_EyC_pNOke4hJjqsggXGwH3sryhyqwt1or9OojWIPXaL51gHLjUFl42x4ngL27jhY2uexFa888hpy3dIulLrGcxV4eYZf79vBkLJL7czjms6g7jIWAwvsjlZg/s1600/lucerne-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga3Nr8Lx35TVrncdjkh_EyC_pNOke4hJjqsggXGwH3sryhyqwt1or9OojWIPXaL51gHLjUFl42x4ngL27jhY2uexFa888hpy3dIulLrGcxV4eYZf79vBkLJL7czjms6g7jIWAwvsjlZg/s1600/lucerne-3.jpg" /></a></div>
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Hello again, my lovelies. Being home with my sick girl Coco has been such a tonic to my soul. Through focusing on her, snuggling her, caring for her, and just <i>being</i> with her, I totally detached from the rest of my life. I didn't realize how much I needed that. Detaching is amazing in that it clears away all the noise and nonsense and, ironically, I really feel more deeply connected to the pieces of myself from which I had been feeling so lost and detached!</div>
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I thought that Coco would be ready to go back to school today, but as it turned out, she started complaining of an earache right as the doctor's office was closing yesterday afternoon and then I had to make the call to either take her to urgent care, or not. In the end, she was pretty calm while waiting for me as I was on hold with the nurse line, so I hung up, dosed her with a bit more ibuprofen (she's grown to a new dose since the last time she had to take it!) and got her to bed. J slept in Theo's bed last night and both the kids were in with me. It was a bit mad, I'll admit, but we all made it through and I'm keeping Coco home again today for good measure. We have family bingo tonight, so fingers crossed she'll be well enough to go eat dinner, play a few rounds of bingo and then come straight home for bed.</div>
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What are you up to this weekend? I hope it's just what you want it to be! And here are some links for you:</div>
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Can you get over this gorgeous photo of Luzern (above) from this <a href="http://mynameisyeh.com/mynameisyeh/2015/3/lucerne" target="_blank">honeymoon blog post</a>?</div>
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I bought a New Moon course from Chani Nicholas and it's just as awesome as her <a href="https://amzn.to/2TaQHQO" target="_blank">magical book</a>.</div>
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Coco and I are <a href="https://amzn.to/398HEW7" target="_blank">making slime</a> today and it's just as outrageous as all the vloggers make it out to be <a href="https://youtu.be/obYmHhFCdtc" target="_blank">on YouTube</a>.</div>
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<a href="https://www.mnn.com/family/family-activities/stories/13-things-you-didnt-know-about-leap-year" target="_blank">13 Unexpected Leap Year Facts</a> (and leap year babies reading?)</div>
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<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2020/02/26/calm-down-establishment-democrats-bernie-sanders-might-be-safest-choice/?fbclid=IwAR3lDgCWun4-RrFgms3TqdmIZeW37s7vQQXuqzIOCxEUjbfumLuhVutWrd8" target="_blank">Interesting perspective</a>. </div>
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The <a href="https://amzn.to/3cjiMg4" target="_blank">most binge-worthy podcast</a> I've listened to in a while.</div>
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People (including me!) are obsessed with these <a href="https://shopstyle.it/l/bedab" target="_blank">gorgeous face oils</a>. </div>
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<a href="https://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/covid-19_switzerland-confirms-second-coronavirus-case/45582788?fbclid=IwAR2wU0rAqnJ3CZyqPfvmlk3-NE74Z9-HfVk2W2EaA72iogWfti-CzSDMKeY" target="_blank">Oh no</a>! :( And <a href="http://on.theatln.tc/RwhZMPa?fbclid=IwAR1ANwu8wUZhNesuvMBVzmymrqf7yqkNStCGlR4L_nc0i4fIZBJ7OSySEYA" target="_blank">this</a>.</div>
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I just ordered a <a href="https://amzn.to/2voVjcP" target="_blank">cursive book</a> for Coco and a <a href="https://amzn.to/2VtHu7s" target="_blank">printing book</a> for Theo.</div>
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And, finally, please support <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/olgabushkova/how-i-tried-to-convince-my-husband-to-have-children?ref=3ub42a&fbclid=IwAR3zgJkVjA2sZBKqvhucBep7MsoCj2TESeZAFKpG7zVNaTwsGjnbkUZH12A" target="_blank">Olga's beautiful, heartbreaking, personal project</a>! </div>
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See you back here soon!</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Photo via <a href="http://mynameisyeh.com/mynameisyeh/2015/3/lucerne" target="_blank">Molly Yeh</a>)</span></div>
Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-82163122647049298512020-02-27T12:31:00.002-08:002020-02-27T12:31:18.830-08:00Cuppow: Sick Day Solution<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVP-blCt7-DcQ2Jw-uXvTDxf0okzjw9k_oFzCvwDTsZqW7sWbYBm1NNn_xtKTHqHVCPv7LA5qesxTVOt-LNEl7ddEdM0DZJLTaS7r2jotL6oH8G1obOXI0DTxLP_rEC_h9rTv1gBHRrQ/s1600/IMG_1770.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVP-blCt7-DcQ2Jw-uXvTDxf0okzjw9k_oFzCvwDTsZqW7sWbYBm1NNn_xtKTHqHVCPv7LA5qesxTVOt-LNEl7ddEdM0DZJLTaS7r2jotL6oH8G1obOXI0DTxLP_rEC_h9rTv1gBHRrQ/s400/IMG_1770.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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Have you heard of <a href="https://amzn.to/2VsFIDz" target="_blank">Cuppow</a>? I thought that everyone and their dog had one of these genius little inventions. However, when I mentioned the amazingly perfect <a href="https://amzn.to/2w9kKPC" target="_blank">8 oz. Ball mason jars</a> we use as our kids water glasses in my Instagram Stories one day, I got tons of responses. One in particular was from a mom of a toddler, lamenting the fact that there's no way to turn the Ball jars into sippy cups. Mais non, dear friend, there is! It's <a href="https://amzn.to/2VsFIDz" target="_blank">Cuppow</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg_tt62rtyg3bGpwjOA3fNioT4_r_BKgfvfxOmIIxTda75-LvT3fByZvdvrISJl396t7_-MMAVR3I0kRbqOg0W6Q8CGURdpXxLb6SgEmQnThTZX1Mr3YgvbpMObqsFvDo0nBEtfGZXHQ/s1600/IMG_1765.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg_tt62rtyg3bGpwjOA3fNioT4_r_BKgfvfxOmIIxTda75-LvT3fByZvdvrISJl396t7_-MMAVR3I0kRbqOg0W6Q8CGURdpXxLb6SgEmQnThTZX1Mr3YgvbpMObqsFvDo0nBEtfGZXHQ/s400/IMG_1765.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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The Cuppow is a snazzy little lid that fits inside where the normal sealing metal lid would go on a mason jar, but it's a little coffee cup type lid. I use it for myself to turn a mason jar into a to-go coffee cup. It could also be used to make a jar into a sippy cup. The only thing you have to pay attention to is whether your jar is regular- or wide-mouth. Otherwise, easy!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyIhbQdRiIEYaEjUv0gcZB7D1kVaG-cVO4Zzcdcu9UHtAKRRpDVfam8R3juzAcA0u2MD-iG11Q89sVvzGJzs3p_5-TY2Nnm4fOS5XDSLTLyy5yoRJHSWrtfVbiPJYLh-9gJDImArGLIw/s1600/IMG_1774.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyIhbQdRiIEYaEjUv0gcZB7D1kVaG-cVO4Zzcdcu9UHtAKRRpDVfam8R3juzAcA0u2MD-iG11Q89sVvzGJzs3p_5-TY2Nnm4fOS5XDSLTLyy5yoRJHSWrtfVbiPJYLh-9gJDImArGLIw/s400/IMG_1774.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Today I found a new use for it: sick day cup for drinking ginger ale on the couch. :) I don't know about you, but in our house drinking and eating on the couch are strictly forbidden. On sick days, I give Coco and Theo water in cups with straws. But I've noticed that straw cups tend to explode and bubble over if anything bubbly is put inside them. Problem solved with the Cuppow!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YFrW0Lkynvr17woQhtIYA1VS-Y-sAfpjeW-IzWUfxb3aPJP5inDkH84ND3dK8nof-qiIvsJHUYuoeQWlXRgCaMG5P_7Gwj1oojewa3yUnw5ixO5cdB4olF-64QUUZsMKk33_50O42g/s1600/IMG_1771_1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YFrW0Lkynvr17woQhtIYA1VS-Y-sAfpjeW-IzWUfxb3aPJP5inDkH84ND3dK8nof-qiIvsJHUYuoeQWlXRgCaMG5P_7Gwj1oojewa3yUnw5ixO5cdB4olF-64QUUZsMKk33_50O42g/s400/IMG_1771_1.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Of course, it could still spill, but the spillage would be slow and the damage minimal by the time it was scooped back up by the offender. I've been doing a lot to minimize our plastic use, and using jars as glasses has been great. They are also great for packing apple sauce in lunches (with the usual metal lid, of course) and for storing leftover sauces or condiments. I've also become obsessed with <a href="https://amzn.to/3a7QLX5" target="_blank">Stasher Bags</a>. More on those in a later post.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZdkKxQT2RfpxMbDJlRMtIkuW05fA4bOtQynkAu2iLQ3nGfYsQ1RDc2MgS34emPvlyYK-l480SuGDSorL54ISmMEH2SwU5cq9_DHDc-CLntMLiZyqTc01JG2Saz3sHkF4K36bjwJW2w/s1600/IMG_1780.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZdkKxQT2RfpxMbDJlRMtIkuW05fA4bOtQynkAu2iLQ3nGfYsQ1RDc2MgS34emPvlyYK-l480SuGDSorL54ISmMEH2SwU5cq9_DHDc-CLntMLiZyqTc01JG2Saz3sHkF4K36bjwJW2w/s400/IMG_1780.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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Now all we need is for this beautiful girl to get back to 100%. As much as I enjoy our snuggles on the couch, I'll be happy when she's her usual happy self again. What are your favorite sick day hacks? Please share in the comments below!</div>
Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-87948134294215028332020-01-10T11:36:00.002-08:002020-01-10T11:36:43.824-08:00Have a magical weekend!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTdvOXkmpZhqlqtTiAcumPdCX7umDScZ4wT15-Tbh_vnl4-DlDsdTkwaVLwrhFjScUGgtkDhOVMzeAAEUsSQ-oXQnByM36_QBKTGTx2poxJ3fwGuqgtl3_XgNydQrCeSDPyYeZyDSWuw/s1600/18482B44-ED15-4E7B-8D2C-C727C5B05FEB.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTdvOXkmpZhqlqtTiAcumPdCX7umDScZ4wT15-Tbh_vnl4-DlDsdTkwaVLwrhFjScUGgtkDhOVMzeAAEUsSQ-oXQnByM36_QBKTGTx2poxJ3fwGuqgtl3_XgNydQrCeSDPyYeZyDSWuw/s640/18482B44-ED15-4E7B-8D2C-C727C5B05FEB.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Well, hello there, strangers! You probably thought I was never coming back. I mean, I thought I was never coming back. Life has been so busy and demanding and trying to prioritize and make time for everything feels like a fool’s errand. But! I’m happy to report that yesterday, pictured, I finished week 5 of my <a href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/run-5k-couch-to-5k-program/id313494823?mt=8" target="_blank">Couch to 5k app</a>! OMG. Only three weeks left and I’ll be running 5k all by myself without stopping. As I go along through the program, my running time (naturally) keeps getting better and faster, and it’s pretty exciting to work through it and see that progress. :) I also figured out how to get it to work seamlessly with my Apple Watch, while listening to a podcast, and wearing my AirPods. Yes! I’m also so proud of myself for keeping on even through getting sick which set me back and slowed me down in December. Hooray for 2020! It’s off to a good start for me and I hope it is for you, too. </div>
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What are your plans this weekend? We are expecting 8-10 inches (20-25 centimeters) of snow <i><a href="https://www.kxly.com/take-out-those-shovels-heavy-snow-is-headed-our-way-friday/">today</a></i>, so I see lots of sledding and snowman building in our not too distant future. The kids also have a pool party tomorrow and Theo and J are skiing Sunday, so it will be a busy one!</div>
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If you’re following along on Instagram, then you’ve been getting some updates and bits and pieces from me here and there. If you’re not following, <a href="http://www.instagram.com/swisslark" target="_blank">hop to it</a>! It’s where I’ve been spending time when I have time to devote to my online creativity and sharing, so I hope you’ll join me.</div>
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And, here are some links for you:<br />
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The <a href="https://amzn.to/2R91nNm" target="_blank">Amazon Coat</a> is on sale right now! I love mine and get compliments on it <i>all the time</i>.<br />
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However, if you live in NYC, <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=2ahUKEwjV2Zi_3vnmAhVEGTQIHZnLDIgQFjAAegQIAhAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2019%2F11%2F26%2Fstyle%2Famazon-coat-shopping-the-amazon-coat-one-year-later.html&usg=AOvVaw0BELLmz4rQGuk6N4tsmg3E" target="_blank">maybe not</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2020/jan/08/am-i-really-alive-man-buried-for-50-minutes-recall/" target="_blank">Made me shudder</a>. Okay, cry. Made me cry.<br />
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I love these <a href="https://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2018/02/25-tiny-habit-changes-that-will-make-you-a-different-person-in-a-year-from-now/" target="_blank">25 tiny habit changes</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B7JPw9SJt-X/?igshid=12b1jgh86yrgs" target="_blank">Fantastic news</a> from one of my favorite creatives!<br />
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<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/12/sleep-cold/604111/" target="_blank">Yes</a> times a million.<br />
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<a href="https://www.bonappetit.com/story/hot-penicillin-cocktail" target="_blank">Hot Penicillin</a>. Because chances are you need it.<br />
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<a href="https://www.npr.org/2019/02/05/691697963/close-enough-the-lure-of-living-through-others" target="_blank">Yikes</a>. Hidden Brain nails it every time.<br />
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Don’t miss out on the Polarn O Pyret <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&offerid=735274.205&type=3&subid=0">winter sale</a>!<br />
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<a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/why-scientists-say-experiencing-awe-can-help-you-live-your-ncna961826">On awe</a>. :)<br />
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I am counting down the days to my trip to Zurich! Today I located my passport and put it in a safe place. Always the best first step toward any trip. LOL. And next I’m going to start packing a little bit. I have been stockpiling goodies and treats to take to my lovely hosts and mama group. I literally cannot believe that I am going. It’s been such a long time. I feel really ready. I can’t wait to give that place a huge hug and kiss straight from my heart.<br />
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Have a great weekend! And since I’m stepping back from the podcast a bit this month, I’ll see you back here Monday. Until then!<br />
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<img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://ad.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/show?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&bids=735274.205&type=3&subid=0" width="1" />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-1464887734135293072019-12-21T12:15:00.001-08:002019-12-21T12:23:01.395-08:00Yes, You Need an Eye Cream<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP8_C4OjXLFDUvhCypNSv8_R5i2RaUv4qJWs6yts_L0TkT94yEOnY3HGIzxxHH8VLiuFQAvHOUIXis5tMnrTeBoPSgdT0Fpx1ke82vOdTxd8QxUMkpgIGYNQm-SghMv4tulFVZZLorLg/s1600/4EB4D156-D408-4A4B-8F57-2B717571B8D1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP8_C4OjXLFDUvhCypNSv8_R5i2RaUv4qJWs6yts_L0TkT94yEOnY3HGIzxxHH8VLiuFQAvHOUIXis5tMnrTeBoPSgdT0Fpx1ke82vOdTxd8QxUMkpgIGYNQm-SghMv4tulFVZZLorLg/s640/4EB4D156-D408-4A4B-8F57-2B717571B8D1.JPG" width="360" /></a></div>
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I hopped on <a href="http://www.instagram.com/swisslark" target="_blank">my Instagram</a> stories this morning to talk about eye cream because I have been noticing lots of women in my age cohort of say 34-45, with very dry under eye skin, crepe-y-ness and buckling and wrinkles. Developing crow's feet and loss of elasticity and moisture are all normal parts of aging, and hormones do not help! So if you're in my age group and don't have a good eye cream or two that you're using morning and night, here are my recommendations. You can also watch my Instagram stories <a href="http://www.instagram.com/swisslark" target="_blank">here</a>, and I'll be sure to save it as a highlight for future reference.</div>
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<a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fsr%3Forigin%3Drecentsearches9%26keyword%3Dpaulas%2Bchoice" target="_blank">Paula's Choice</a> is my go-to brand for most skin care. Full disclosure, I do work for them as a brand rep for the Spokane market, but I have not been compensated for this post, nor asked to do it. :) I LOVE Paula's Choice so when the chance to rep them came up, I jumped at it.</div>
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I used to work for Chanel, so I used Chanel skin care and I love their eye creams, too (more on that below) but the price point was prohibitive for me once I was no longer getting it for free. So finding Paula's Choice was a lifesaver.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqBWsCEoxIV2gvqnF7-1vKPJ7c1IvhLg_KWxMmOatHATJ91SHAQzcwDh-_HLUa84gsDPRjq51uMCsqq_mnZm7_lfRZncHex3vAg4wt8Ef2Lxhyphenhyphenbm3hM3d9oTrm64Cse-ElaMLZLpgeg/s1600/1EEAA114-E2F4-4842-B407-4A0E765A0F07.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqBWsCEoxIV2gvqnF7-1vKPJ7c1IvhLg_KWxMmOatHATJ91SHAQzcwDh-_HLUa84gsDPRjq51uMCsqq_mnZm7_lfRZncHex3vAg4wt8Ef2Lxhyphenhyphenbm3hM3d9oTrm64Cse-ElaMLZLpgeg/s640/1EEAA114-E2F4-4842-B407-4A0E765A0F07.JPG" width="360" /></a></div>
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If you're brand new to using an eye cream (and preferably under 35) then the <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fpaulas-choice-omega-complex-eye-cream%2F5347795%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dcoordinating-5347795-0-2-PDP_1.PDP_1_DEFAULT-recbot-also_viewed%26recs_placement%3DPDP_1.PDP_1_DEFAULT%26recs_strategy%3Dalso_viewed%26recs_source%3Drecbot%26recs_page_type%3Dproduct%26recs_seed%3D4981230" target="_blank">Paula's Choice Omega+ Complex Eye Cream</a> is perfect for you. It's nourishing, protective and will keep your skin youthful and healthy. If you're over 35, you can start here too, but progress to something with more punch in the anti-aging department after you go through your first bottle.</div>
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The <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fpaulas-choice-clinical-ceramide-enriched-firming-eye-cream%2F4981230%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dcoordinating-4981230-0-2-PDP_1.PDP_1_DEFAULT-recbot-also_viewed%26recs_placement%3DPDP_1.PDP_1_DEFAULT%26recs_strategy%3Dalso_viewed%26recs_source%3Drecbot%26recs_page_type%3Dproduct%26recs_seed%3D4717357" target="_blank">Paula's Choice Ceramide-Enriched Firming Eye Cream</a> is the best eye cream I have ever seen and used in my life! I have used a lot of fancy eye creams, including <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fla-prairie-skin-caviar-luxe-eye-cream%2F5370975%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dcoordinating-5370975-0-2-PDP_1.PDP_1_DEFAULT-recbot-also_viewed%26recs_placement%3DPDP_1.PDP_1_DEFAULT%26recs_strategy%3Dalso_viewed%26recs_source%3Drecbot%26recs_page_type%3Dproduct%26recs_seed%3D2858585" target="_blank">this sticker shock of a stunner</a> from La Prairie AND its accompanying <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fla-prairie-essence-of-skin-caviar-eye-complex-firming-eye-gel%2F2858585%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Dnone" target="_blank">serum</a>, and they're not worth the price by any stretch of the imagination. The Ceramide Eye Cream from Paula's Choice has a comprehensive list of anti-aging, skin-perfecting ingredients, including</div>
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<li>Vitamin C for brightness</li>
<li>Retinol to smooth and accelerate skin cell turnover</li>
<li>Peptides to boost firmness and youthfulness of cells</li>
<li>Collagen to increase elasticity and hold everything together </li>
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It's a true powerhouse and worth way more than $48! Perfect to use at night, and I prefer to use the Anti-Aging Eye Gel by day.<br />
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The <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fpaulas-choice-resist-anti-aging-eye-gel%2F4717357%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Dnone" target="_blank">Paula's Choice Anti-Aging Eye Gel</a> will wow you with its instant lifting and firming properties. Skin is visibly de-puffed and lifted after applying. I use this during the day because why have visible lifting and firming at night? It wears well under makeup thanks to the lightweight gel texture. I prefer the Ceramide at night as its thicker and more powerful.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ9eoLZP5lEJzsFeDzHn6IZYdltTSuifURc3ytKuJhDukkNgg9Uwo-dj5yBw0JS8IpOCTLblLOdYqVbEKkhor6yaTPFwOl-W4Og3aFCXTBvs4qu4peWuvhyrYUxh9AIkdqLyP7TPi7vQ/s1600/B4C7F74D-BACE-4980-AD81-BA7DAE80D34C.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ9eoLZP5lEJzsFeDzHn6IZYdltTSuifURc3ytKuJhDukkNgg9Uwo-dj5yBw0JS8IpOCTLblLOdYqVbEKkhor6yaTPFwOl-W4Og3aFCXTBvs4qu4peWuvhyrYUxh9AIkdqLyP7TPi7vQ/s640/B4C7F74D-BACE-4980-AD81-BA7DAE80D34C.JPG" width="360" /></a></div>
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If luxury is your game, then Chanel is the way to go. The <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fchanel-sublimage-la-creme-yeux-ultimate-regeneration-eye-cream%2F4584023%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Dnone" target="_blank">Sublimage Regeneration Eye Cream</a> is truly phenomenal. It contains Vanilla Planifolia extract developed by Chanel technology to keep skin youthful and perfect. Plus it comes with a gorgeous black and gold applicator. You only need the size of a grain of rice with Chanel eye creams, so despite the price tag, a jar should last you for 6-8 months with proper application. Not as expensive when you think of it that way! ;)</div>
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I also LOVE the <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fchanel-le-lift-creme-yeux-firming-anti-wrinkle-eye-cream%2F3804822%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Dnone" target="_blank">Le Lift eye cream</a>. It is the result of 12 years of research! Scientists produced an ingredient from the edulis morning glory plant to lift, firm and reduce the appearance of lines and wrinkles. It's pretty great!</div>
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Finally, the <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fchanel-le-lift-concentre-yeux-firming-anti-wrinkle-eye-concentrate%2F4106664%2Ffull%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Dnone" target="_blank">Le Lift Eye Concentrate</a> is a lifting and firming, de-puffing powerhouse for daytime (quite similar to the Paula's Choice Eye Gel). But the beauty of Chanel is chic packaging that looks at once daring and understated on any vanity or within your medicine cabinet. Sometimes a little touch of luxury and beautiful design like that can really add to your day, can't it? </div>
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Don't forget to go check out <a href="http://www.instagram.com/swisslark" target="_blank">my Instagram</a> stories and highlights for more skin care tips. Are you currently using an eye cream? Which one? Is skin care a high priority for you? </div>
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</div>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-22955966868557657972019-10-11T10:13:00.000-07:002019-10-11T10:13:04.383-07:00Death in Ice Valley<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsdaKBQfv492koWtCdTx2F5zMe5dyyPhAWpZ_oPdFVnT9j5-fwci57cA5_ggz22ghn2mjrr7hNBtQvhbL6B9qoZ65TEirHcQRVCO7PXjThumJMxWC8GkoWnzEr4ZiXrqKTxg5UwK9hdQ/s1600/EC053D0B-1394-4FE2-8031-AB88D818542D.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="328" data-original-width="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsdaKBQfv492koWtCdTx2F5zMe5dyyPhAWpZ_oPdFVnT9j5-fwci57cA5_ggz22ghn2mjrr7hNBtQvhbL6B9qoZ65TEirHcQRVCO7PXjThumJMxWC8GkoWnzEr4ZiXrqKTxg5UwK9hdQ/s1600/EC053D0B-1394-4FE2-8031-AB88D818542D.jpeg" /></a></div>
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The night before last, J sent me a podcast episode to listen to and I’m 100% obsessed. I already listened to three episodes yesterday (at regular speed!) by putting in my AirPods literally any moment I was walking, or driving, or on a break, or just had a few minutes to listen. I haven’t been that hooked on a podcast since the first season of Serial, and before that the last time I was so hooked on something was Harry Potter. It’s that good! </div>
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<a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p060ms2h" target="_blank">Death in Ice Valley</a> is an investigative podcast produced through a partnership between the BBC and NRK, the Norwegian Public Radio service. It follows the unsolved death of a woman known as Isdal Woman who was found in Norway, in a remote natural area outside of Bergen, in late 1970. To this day the Isdal Woman’s identity remains unknown and her death unsolved. Was she a murdered? Was it an elaborate suicide? Why were all of the markings and labels on her clothing and personal items removed or rubbed off? </div>
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The story is instantly intriguing and the editing is excellent and captivating. You feel as if you’re actually there, following the investigative journalists as they follow the clue trail from Bergen to Stavanger and beyond. The original music is haunting and gripping and you will not be able to stop listening once you start. I cannot recommend it enough.</div>
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What podcasts are you listening to these days? Have you listened to <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p060ms2h" target="_blank">Death in Ice Valley</a>? And, don’t forget to listen to my podcast, <a href="http://www.expatrepat.ch/" target="_blank">Expat Repat</a>, which just kicked off in Season Two. </div>
<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com46tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-78726538037423388922019-10-07T19:23:00.002-07:002019-10-07T19:24:07.633-07:00The Politician<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Dx1jOIitU0-HFyW818xJtMFZHLiKsAg87zaKlVW1h0oKQWv7mm7L8y8DVDnaaE61c9sNoQYuPBRUf3exEZVABQbLvvF0WCGeTg-4oNEpQ31WQR0AprsRkngKhyphenhyphenvbdRI5oSY1dmNQdA/s1600/E54E885B-06C9-409D-BABA-B4443E3F29B6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="455" data-original-width="1000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Dx1jOIitU0-HFyW818xJtMFZHLiKsAg87zaKlVW1h0oKQWv7mm7L8y8DVDnaaE61c9sNoQYuPBRUf3exEZVABQbLvvF0WCGeTg-4oNEpQ31WQR0AprsRkngKhyphenhyphenvbdRI5oSY1dmNQdA/s1600/E54E885B-06C9-409D-BABA-B4443E3F29B6.jpeg" /></a></div>
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Are you guys watching <a href="https://draft.blogger.com/Check%20out%20%E2%80%9CThe%20Politician%E2%80%9D%20on%20Netflix%20https://www.netflix.com/title/80241248?s=i&trkid=13752289" target="_blank">The Politician</a> on Netflix? It was released on my birthday (also Gwyneth Paltrow’s birthday) and it is amazing. The styling, the costumes, and visually satisfying artistic cinematography are reasons to watch it on their own. But the most exciting thing is that in the same way that <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inglourious_Basterds" target="_blank">Inglorious Basterds</a> does, it perfectly nails the flippant macabre, and manages to take extremely heavy material and somehow make it light and even funny. (Disclaimer: I’ve only seen two episodes.) I am hooked!<br />
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My friend, Bridget, in Zurich recommended it and she has impeccable taste so that was my first clue it would be fantastic. Secondly, I saw that Gwyneth Paltrow was in it and I love her. People either love or hate GP; I understand this. But I love her. She is always in super interesting, different, avant-garde productions. Finally, I started the pilot and one of my favorite songs of all time, Sufjan Stevens’ <a href="https://youtu.be/c_-cUdmdWgU" target="_blank">Chicago</a>, is used for the opening credits sequence. Done deal. I knew I was not wasting my time. Also, the opening credits are super captivating. You will not want to look away, or skip over.<br />
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I am in such a fabulous spot as far as shows go right now. We have three going simultaneously - two of which are on Showtime, The Affair and On Becoming a God in Central Florida - so they’re only released once per week. Of course, the other show is <a href="https://draft.blogger.com/Check%20out%20%E2%80%9CThe%20Politician%E2%80%9D%20on%20Netflix%20https://www.netflix.com/title/80241248?s=i&trkid=13752289" target="_blank">The Politician</a>, which was all dropped at once. It’s so exciting to have good shows to watch. Do you prefer a season to be dropped all at once, or to come out once per week?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Photo via <a href="https://www.indiewire.com/2019/09/the-politician-review-netflix-ryan-murphy-1202175481/" target="_blank">Indiewire</a>)</span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-18439802409081696562019-09-24T11:47:00.000-07:002019-09-24T11:53:56.996-07:00Mother Rage, Or How Do You React When You Burn the Toast?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgCdZYiv2bRNw0jUWr2h0y8m0GRs_4N1Yii8gep3d7LnMWFhC91kQWw2APO1qymh5OkxpHfxwljIUbNkNjuFvesQnX_AaT6zn0J5UcZkd0E-fZ-VOllMWeb0ESitT-OxB2Dhi839aZjg/s1600/IMG_5145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgCdZYiv2bRNw0jUWr2h0y8m0GRs_4N1Yii8gep3d7LnMWFhC91kQWw2APO1qymh5OkxpHfxwljIUbNkNjuFvesQnX_AaT6zn0J5UcZkd0E-fZ-VOllMWeb0ESitT-OxB2Dhi839aZjg/s640/IMG_5145.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I've been noticing lately, through my mindfulness and meditation practices, something omnipresent in my life: Anger. I've always been such a happy person, or at least felt expected to be cheerful and happy, that it took me a long time to recognize my anger for what it was. In my quest to understand my anger better, and to know why it was coming up so strongly after a life of smiling and laughing and people pleasing, I started reading. A lot. One fascinating article I found (and can't seem to re-find to link to, unfortunately) spoke of the moments in our day that give us a good read on our baseline mental state. It said that how you react when you burn the toast is a strong indicator of how we're genuinely feeling when all filters are removed. Think about it, you burn toast and it's no big deal. Just make more. But it can really make you flip your lid. And just reading that, I felt the anger bubble up fast, and red that I had experienced when I missed out on a parking spot the day before. Same concept, different no big deal. Deep down, I was angry. More or less all the time. Anger was my baseline mental state.<br />
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In our modern lives and these bizarre times, there are plenty of things to be angry about. Take politics, for example. I mean, that's enough. We can basically just stop right there. But life has so much more. Work, schedules, money, relationships. However, for me, the biggest source of my anger all made sense when I received my New York Times Parenting email three days ago, containing a piece on 'Mother Rage,' a term I had never heard anyone else use, but had identified myself - and learned to keep to myself because, for shame!<br />
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On the select few occasions that I had said in confidence to someone, a couple times even another mother, that "you don't know true rage until you're a mother" it <u>did not</u> go over well. And it turns out that that sense of shame that accompanies mother rage is damaging all on its own, and ironically, serves to make our rage cycle, and get even worse as time goes on. In her essay entitled <i><a href="https://parenting.nytimes.com/parent-life/mother-rage?type=roundup&link=intro&te=1&nl=nyt-parenting&emc=edit_ptg_20190921?campaign_id=118&instance_id=12545&segment_id=17225&user_id=9e41f19ed5f4d2d5bcd4efe5c663d1ed&regi_id=55424912" target="_blank">The Rage Mothers Don't Talk About</a></i>, author Minna Dubin writes,<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I start working with a life coach. He assigns me a section of Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence.” Goleman cites the work of University of Alabama psychologist Dolf Zillmann, who discovered that the physiological effects of rage can last for days, and that rage builds on rage. Repeated aggravations — “a sequence of provocations” — can dramatically increase anger, so that by the third or fourth rage trigger, the person is reacting on a level 10 in response to a misplaced key or a dropped spoon.</span></span></blockquote>
Amazingly, that is exactly the burnt toast analogy, explained for overwhelmed mothers, isn't it? I felt such a wave of relief reading Dubin's essay, because when you're in it, and feeling ashamed of it, mom rage feels like a deep and personal defect. I imagine all the other moms I know as being perfect - as if they're straight out of a Little Golden Book from the 1950's. One of my neighbors truly does seem like a perfect mom, and Coco has made it abundantly clear to me that she'd rather live at their house than at ours, but I'm smart enough to know that she is a mom, too, and Coco is never there for her mother rage. Sigh. Luckily, another neighbor mom has shared with me that she drinks more or less on the daily to keep from killing people, to which I said 'cheers!' and understood exactly what she meant. Note: If you don't understand exactly what she meant, that probably means that you do not have a husband, and two children and full-time job. ;)<br />
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I keep trying to find the secret sauce to motherhood. And I haven't found it yet. Being a full-time stay at home mom was delightful for me when Coco was a baby, but then it became increasingly isolating and difficult as she emerged into toddlerhood. Working full-time as a mom left me unbelievably overwhelmed and short-fused, but even still the reliability of the daily rhythm was a positive. Being a part-time working mom and part-time student mom is kind of insane, but I'm doing my very best to create a schedule that, as Dubin writes, "fills up my patience cup." She elaborates, "when I manage to exercise, make art and eat healthy food, I have a longer fuse," and it truly felt like she was speaking to my soul as I read that. However, I couldn't help but laugh when she concluded, "Unfortunately, as a working mom with a small child I am not swimming in spare time, and cooking, running and unpaid hobbies often fall to the bottom of the to-do list." Sigh. This is the mother's dilemma.<br />
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I know that I am more present and growl less when I am able to make my art - this blog and my podcast; and I know that cooking and exercise make me a better mom, too. So I'm determined to guard enough time in my schedule each week for these things. Not for myself, but for filling up my patience cup for them. Framing it as something I do more for my children than myself really highlights the validity of that self-care and what it really is after all. I highly recommend that you read Dubin's full essay <a href="https://parenting.nytimes.com/parent-life/mother-rage?type=roundup&link=intro&te=1&nl=nyt-parenting&emc=edit_ptg_20190921?campaign_id=118&instance_id=12545&segment_id=17225&user_id=9e41f19ed5f4d2d5bcd4efe5c663d1ed&regi_id=55424912" target="_blank">here</a>, and please share your thoughts and feelings about it in the comments below. I would love to hear what you think!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-77845286019033076342019-09-19T08:38:00.001-07:002019-09-19T08:38:12.879-07:00A Birthday Dilemma<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha89K_XcAK3oOI8vgptE4gfxdTO4B770dpeb3IpIi2NGiJTQYWObosBwGstaca3k32uyFp4RtxI21H24UvwUdQXKNYycpRk_ylaWWAIo3ZwfBwSQcxb7PETFs_4aB6h0FLpMVrsndJBg/s1600/6852094F-F4E5-42EB-9346-3560E1142C1A.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="1224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha89K_XcAK3oOI8vgptE4gfxdTO4B770dpeb3IpIi2NGiJTQYWObosBwGstaca3k32uyFp4RtxI21H24UvwUdQXKNYycpRk_ylaWWAIo3ZwfBwSQcxb7PETFs_4aB6h0FLpMVrsndJBg/s1600/6852094F-F4E5-42EB-9346-3560E1142C1A.JPG" /></a></div>
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No, this is not about my birthday, which basically has been consumed by Coco's birthday for the rest of time. It's about hers! Coco was born two days after me, and two days before my mom, and coincidentally, two of her little besties have the same birthday as Coco. This makes it so hard to find a day for her party, and it also creates an internal dilemma for me every year - especially the last three years as her birthday has fallen on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, in other words, on good party days.<br />
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It feels really weird to invite a child to your own child's birthday party on their own birthday. But it would feel even weirder not to invite them! I really love that we have been able to have Coco's birthday on her actual birthday for the last few years (and not on mine, which is what happened for a couple years there!) but it is a weird reality that two of her close friends have the same birthday. Last year, one of them was able to make it and then we went to their party the very next day. In this particular case, the little girl's brother has his birthday the day before hers, so they always do a joint birthday party together. Another layer of complexity!<br />
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Planning is always a challenge, and there is rarely going to be a date and time that winds up working out for absolutely everyone, so I just make a plan and hope for the best. And here are some photos from Coco's party last year. All of the ideas, including cake design and candy kabobs for each guest, were her own. That girls knows how to throw a party!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguowgC8JO3f43rMUW1R4yTTgooJXjWNUrCAGmo7k6NxvKnDbB7jwRe_HhTlsEZNrBD7EjtoWwaWWr23QIN9hMBFtRAhYfHQQQ1cSxPsctj1S4fhBbL-JjTS1BjKewaeiNzET7G1gXtDA/s1600/D14F7D4A-4B53-42F0-BE1D-5E4AD887F4A2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="1224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguowgC8JO3f43rMUW1R4yTTgooJXjWNUrCAGmo7k6NxvKnDbB7jwRe_HhTlsEZNrBD7EjtoWwaWWr23QIN9hMBFtRAhYfHQQQ1cSxPsctj1S4fhBbL-JjTS1BjKewaeiNzET7G1gXtDA/s1600/D14F7D4A-4B53-42F0-BE1D-5E4AD887F4A2.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coco's chosen theme was donuts. She designed her cake (more below) and was then delighted to find a donut piñata that matched!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0WZ6JOKoABIpFhzG1kPgWizr8oZEbs0wz28Ka5zbdkcsHO0SB6KVelKuqd_uPuglwiAsrd7_asxZAhyOVhUCiynZYVo8qXIj5Eds-RshTmygQp-p2O5LlPgbgyDjsy-_RNP0joOn1g/s1600/4583AC9B-83C0-4A18-AC75-04FCF2CC824C.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="1224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0WZ6JOKoABIpFhzG1kPgWizr8oZEbs0wz28Ka5zbdkcsHO0SB6KVelKuqd_uPuglwiAsrd7_asxZAhyOVhUCiynZYVo8qXIj5Eds-RshTmygQp-p2O5LlPgbgyDjsy-_RNP0joOn1g/s1600/4583AC9B-83C0-4A18-AC75-04FCF2CC824C.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We took this drawing of Coco's cake design into the bakery and they worked their magic!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3yUFwnsX0r8xGCNf24tZqjOnqf7YGAWiJkMnFPXo6Y1W_yznrfDm8s5m2Q_5sJL5s-u6TDY4BwuRAaun_7_YRYNezgCx_OrJR_JDzR6cdmsQ892qP0b9ZPOlOw04kGD0Nu_7snZSDww/s1600/F6D2687C-784D-421F-AE39-F68794F19957.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3yUFwnsX0r8xGCNf24tZqjOnqf7YGAWiJkMnFPXo6Y1W_yznrfDm8s5m2Q_5sJL5s-u6TDY4BwuRAaun_7_YRYNezgCx_OrJR_JDzR6cdmsQ892qP0b9ZPOlOw04kGD0Nu_7snZSDww/s1600/F6D2687C-784D-421F-AE39-F68794F19957.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coco picked out the table items. It all came together so well!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT_01QxYYgaP4VZORvIHZOJiLl2aDAFW_uongNbWpnX774wlH-aUwUmICRVOz9rUDDNWtJnetuvvxxYsOtcZ3UAE5Vr2vNdCDbPGjpPUFkAjgy6_JwpLlBv9Sp4xF0Q85VkFBe3G_Fzg/s1600/2A17AD10-787E-42C0-9BF9-970268B84E02.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="1224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT_01QxYYgaP4VZORvIHZOJiLl2aDAFW_uongNbWpnX774wlH-aUwUmICRVOz9rUDDNWtJnetuvvxxYsOtcZ3UAE5Vr2vNdCDbPGjpPUFkAjgy6_JwpLlBv9Sp4xF0Q85VkFBe3G_Fzg/s1600/2A17AD10-787E-42C0-9BF9-970268B84E02.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I loved that the bakery added the little donut rings around the outside! And that pink tassel decoration from Target has been the best. I keep it in the basement on our party shelf and get it out for all of Coco's parties.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrworFXjg_qWGChaPLdQ2Mt3cHy-XI20Jnhgdv1lni3AGTaowWf0Ba2IQ7olh2_wuH52Akn02MPiUJVKZeb5QW8C6DaSKHj3NHAuKAREg1btUoH0wAIcy3KV-_No8exxz2ckyb4vKlOg/s1600/1A633E16-F845-42FC-B45D-69519490EC1D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="1224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrworFXjg_qWGChaPLdQ2Mt3cHy-XI20Jnhgdv1lni3AGTaowWf0Ba2IQ7olh2_wuH52Akn02MPiUJVKZeb5QW8C6DaSKHj3NHAuKAREg1btUoH0wAIcy3KV-_No8exxz2ckyb4vKlOg/s1600/1A633E16-F845-42FC-B45D-69519490EC1D.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coco, ever the style maven, chose the black and white cake with raspberry filling inside! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQFgdLxrdv50kwZWHJYipEwuxs0-dSZctG3npqh_SOdUTgopkOEPgivqZghVtXyyg7cbWKAQyiVdqsvJqUX7tYn7w2jvKXKHmq6cVLQ7YvKeJeXKeEUJf2L9FWUPyOE9dnEM1mkm96QQ/s1600/E97C5157-3A07-4C0F-BE7D-3AE5805EB296.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQFgdLxrdv50kwZWHJYipEwuxs0-dSZctG3npqh_SOdUTgopkOEPgivqZghVtXyyg7cbWKAQyiVdqsvJqUX7tYn7w2jvKXKHmq6cVLQ7YvKeJeXKeEUJf2L9FWUPyOE9dnEM1mkm96QQ/s1600/E97C5157-3A07-4C0F-BE7D-3AE5805EB296.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The party started with backyard games, including ring toss and pin the horn on the unicorn. Then after cake and presents, it was piñata time. All in all a super fun time!</td></tr>
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Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-30735205475487116332019-09-16T20:44:00.001-07:002019-09-16T20:57:25.507-07:00Repat: Will My Expat Friends Forget About Me?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE3cYIzXLzCXZubgm7TdbsJNnLhffakdl0COK3Xe9BClkvS0LGnPHVuSYZsoYp_LJtcrXfV5dwHrVo236_4ULCI4guDHTVuNlOc3I-y4dZemfs9y45Q9n2dyKFj7uHKP1vmsWJrOD0Ww/s1600/4487A8C7-FD3C-407F-8688-51887C98F1A8.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="750" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE3cYIzXLzCXZubgm7TdbsJNnLhffakdl0COK3Xe9BClkvS0LGnPHVuSYZsoYp_LJtcrXfV5dwHrVo236_4ULCI4guDHTVuNlOc3I-y4dZemfs9y45Q9n2dyKFj7uHKP1vmsWJrOD0Ww/s640/4487A8C7-FD3C-407F-8688-51887C98F1A8.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I think the scariest thoughts at 3 am. I never used to wake up at 3 am. Well, that’s not true. I did, but I was up to breastfeed and so it was lovely and sweet and cozy and I went right back to sleep with a snuggling babe in my arms. In those days, 3 am was an entirely different animal. But once Theo was old enough to not be partaking in the 3 am feed, I found myself waking up, unable to go back to sleep, and despite the sweet sleeping baby next to me breathing deeply and sleeping soundly, 3 am became a very terrifying space. For a few years there, I woke up at 3 am, more or less on the dot, and my mind, my soul, my very body were flooded with existential angst and regret and fear. Not fun stuff.<br />
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During one such middle of the night terror session, it occurred to me that my expat friends - the gorgeous women in the photo above - might forget about me before I have a chance to move back and get myself back into their orbit again. It made my heart ache in the spooky darkness while I stared, wide-eyed, at the patches of blue light that splashed into the room randomly through the curtains and blinds, illuminating swatches of the ceiling and walls of my bedroom. I felt an emptiness that overwhelmed me.<br />
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I grabbed my phone, which is normally a terrible idea at 3 am, but I knew I wasn’t going back to sleep anyway, so I started googling. Did you know that “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends” is one of <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/top-5-regrets-of-the-dying_n_3640593" target="_blank">the top five regrets of the dying</a>? As I read those words, I went from feeling totally defeated and fearful to resolute. I started texting my friends more. It’s so easy when you’re far, far away, to drift apart. It’s only normal that text exchanges become rote and shallow. “How are you doing?” gets back a “Busy! Kids are in soccer and ballet and life is good” and it ends there. Instead of doing that, I started texting my friends and sharing things I had been pondering - grey hair and wrinkles, loss of identity as a mother, the fleeting quality of time. It turns out a lot of them were thinking about the same things. I found myself having discussions, albeit over text for the most part, that were meaningful and allowed us to connect with each other and what we were experiencing beyond what’s obvious and on the surface.<br />
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It felt good to maintain those relationships, but also really confusing as I tried to make new friends here. And then, on top of that, came the confusion of knowing that deep down, I plan to leave again, but I never talk about it. That added another layer of complexity where my relationships feel false somehow because I’m concealing this huge piece of myself. And it really does feel like a piece of myself. The things we strive for are central to our identities. Isn’t the act of sharing our hopes and dreams the very stuff that builds connection and allows us to experience closeness with others? What if that is kept to oneself?<br />
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I don’t have all the answers yet, but what I’m learning as a repat, and also from reflecting back on my time as an expat, is that we have to be comfortable with ambivalence. We have to be able to simultaneously pursue two opposing ideals. I’m burrowing deep into my life here, making friends, joining a gym, building a community. And yet, I’m also focused on my goal of moving back to Zürich, building my new career, developing myself as an individual different from the person I am right now. In other words, as I burrow in, I’m also reaching out, striving for growth.<br />
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As we get older, finding truly close, intimate friendships becomes more and more difficult, less and less likely. It’s not enough to say, “that was my life then, this is my life now” and let them go. I think it’s important to stay in touch with our friends, as is evidenced by how if affects the dying. Are you staying in touch with people you care about? Why or why not? Does knowing that it’s a top regret of the dying make you want to change what you’re doing?Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-69023847764259106642019-09-11T14:07:00.000-07:002019-09-11T14:07:27.526-07:00Volkswagen of the Future<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlkvz5Fku58KXcMbPCDvwTfzxfKYyf2Gcbr31kqirUlxuEmNOtgvjQVuRf7N2iTl0cpPpJUoWktFurn5-tCVglibFOtNoA0HQiypsjHv44qOKL-Ka2iRfkbhOC4EVDwx_3OYum85sLkw/s1600/vw-id-buzz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1273" data-original-width="993" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlkvz5Fku58KXcMbPCDvwTfzxfKYyf2Gcbr31kqirUlxuEmNOtgvjQVuRf7N2iTl0cpPpJUoWktFurn5-tCVglibFOtNoA0HQiypsjHv44qOKL-Ka2iRfkbhOC4EVDwx_3OYum85sLkw/s1600/vw-id-buzz.jpg" /></a></div>
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I love Volkswagens and have <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2017/03/an-appraisal-of-values-and-more-on.html" target="_blank">never</a> bought <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2010/07/dream-car-for-sale.html" target="_blank">another</a> car in my life. They're so reliable and sophisticated and comfortable without being stuffy or over the top. Most of all, VWs have great style and design. Always. I have waxed poetic about my love for their ad campaigns <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2012/06/volkswagen-ads.html" target="_blank">before</a>, but the latest ads for their new fleet of all-electric vehicles (set to hit roads in just a few years!) are truly swoon worthy.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ltmNy6Vkq8BGUHtznFRCmJ9mQXGBJzvVMeWPL3M3SWjyzXPGOq51Jphzz_L7efVVXrjtw0QSFwvWSj_O8VkGy1VufmHBTYE6HkqQbIOGESnFrnBMBStj22Imfs42C5rH1I6UrHUZJQ/s1600/vw-id-buzz-ad-campaign-thumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="628" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ltmNy6Vkq8BGUHtznFRCmJ9mQXGBJzvVMeWPL3M3SWjyzXPGOq51Jphzz_L7efVVXrjtw0QSFwvWSj_O8VkGy1VufmHBTYE6HkqQbIOGESnFrnBMBStj22Imfs42C5rH1I6UrHUZJQ/s1600/vw-id-buzz-ad-campaign-thumbnail.jpg" /></a></div>
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Like this two-page spread to explain the "Lemonade" above. Are their advertising reps geniuses, or what?! I love how they pulled in so much history of the brand and their story in this campaign. Swoon.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP-rwXhDmSzCVmxaQjnl4xoG7VavZoZV_9RU0k5K4Lbhi4wIYn8HobapnqTwF1Fj59snNnlGl3M8bP791CmNtrYJ8mX192Sd8aKn1Y30QLHzb_uteE2MJQT_CdSAF6feOqssS6Ww-LCQ/s1600/Key-image_v3_printtest_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1036" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP-rwXhDmSzCVmxaQjnl4xoG7VavZoZV_9RU0k5K4Lbhi4wIYn8HobapnqTwF1Fj59snNnlGl3M8bP791CmNtrYJ8mX192Sd8aKn1Y30QLHzb_uteE2MJQT_CdSAF6feOqssS6Ww-LCQ/s1600/Key-image_v3_printtest_web.jpg" /></a></div>
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And this is so gorgeous - with the side view, and the surfboard on top! Yes I want for J and I to haul our kids and dog (maybe) and yoga mat and surfboard around in this totally rad electric VW bus. YES! Swooning again. :)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="https://www.ispot.tv/share/oo8J" style="bottom: 0; height: 100%; left: 0; position: absolute; right: 0; top: 0; width: 100%;"></iframe></div>
And I nearly started crying whilst watching this ad. That song, the notion of pivoting and moving forward with hope in the face of uncertainty after a major setback. Wonderful. Volkswagen will always have my heart! And in a weird way, it feels relevant to my own personal expat-repat experiences that were unfolding in the years that VW were dealing with their <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volkswagen_emissions_scandal" target="_blank">emissions scandal</a>. From 2015 until very recently, I have felt completely lost and unsure of what is next for me. I feel like I, too, have found the light in the darkness. Swoon forever!<br />
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Are you a Volkswagen fan? If you are, please swoon with me in the comments below, and if you're not, please do not share your thoughts or opinions with me at this time! I'm just too in love with these ads to bear it. :)<br />
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Ads via <a href="https://mymodernmet.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/vw-id-buzz-ad-campaign-thumbnail.jpg" target="_blank">1</a> / <a href="https://mymodernmet.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/vw-id-buzz-ad-campaign-thumbnail.jpg" target="_blank">2</a> / <a href="https://annalitwiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Key-image_v3_printtest_web.jpg" target="_blank">3</a> / <a href="https://www.ispot.tv/ad/oo8J/volkswagen-id-buzz-hello-light-song-by-simon-and-garfunkel-t1" target="_blank">4</a>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-23088633467764680442019-09-10T17:36:00.001-07:002019-09-10T17:36:28.731-07:00One-on-One Time <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirvGcl3lzJh3HiN4E-XXZnBoWAGDdtrph-nJ-owpGZC5s4VSASsCoE1OxlrgElUUQzgcvP0kGlCuNCXy1E61zWHBQtgzlQGgXnKkMHVNepTBbkUMlRacN1WDskO0oqs6oCtrBz6U60pg/s1600/CCB118A5-F53E-4E67-B5C9-94EAF8A0E71D.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1544" data-original-width="1158" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirvGcl3lzJh3HiN4E-XXZnBoWAGDdtrph-nJ-owpGZC5s4VSASsCoE1OxlrgElUUQzgcvP0kGlCuNCXy1E61zWHBQtgzlQGgXnKkMHVNepTBbkUMlRacN1WDskO0oqs6oCtrBz6U60pg/s640/CCB118A5-F53E-4E67-B5C9-94EAF8A0E71D.jpeg" width="479" /></a></div>
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Something I’ve started doing recently is spending one-on-one time with Coco. We need to do this much more frequently because it always has a really good effect on her mood and disposition. She is a very verbal and creative storyteller as she gets older. It’s amazing how during that period from birth-to-six, what Montessori defined as the first plane of development, children are truly in the moment and concerned with the physical world. Then, in the second plane from six-to-twelve, they really do change their focus. In the first plane, Montessori said the child seeks to wrap his hand around the world. Theo is definitely there, making “stew” out of things he finds in the garden in a sand bucket. But in the second plane of development, Montessori said the child seeks to wrap her mind around the world. And Coco is definitely there. She is imaginative and coming up with ideas and theories about everything. Without one-on-one time to listen and give her space to share her big thoughts and ideas, she gets understandably frustrated.</div>
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When we nearly went back to Switzerland in 2017, Coco had not yet entered the second plane of development. She was still very much in the first plane and her needs and desires seemed simpler and easier to meet. As we look forward and consider going abroad again, I can see how moving with children - older children who are aware and grasp the reality of changing continents, languages and cultures - is an entirely different ball game. Still, I’m grateful for her experiences here and I’m happy that both she and Theo will have had time at her school before we take off again on our next Expat adventure. And I’m glad that they’ll have that, too. In a way, going when they’re both in the second plane and ready to wrap their minds around the world will be the perfect time - completely in line with their developmental stage.</div>
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For now, we’ll keep doing our one-on-one Mama and Coco days, and I’ll continue to encourage her imagination and creativity. Parenting is constantly changing, but it never decreases in time commitment or effort, does it? Luckily it’s as rewarding as it is demanding!</div>
Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-3211673905609049532019-07-30T15:01:00.003-07:002019-07-30T15:04:26.576-07:00Repat: American Grocery Store Anxiety<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzXymzadAVKdw2Vz13-FN_iXhNz1tdRRXdivFElOqGlTBhpwr6_192fIB-LVUZWI0BLbc8h0Y82GK-AcetQwFcmZ8aHz4ZuIc6r7XvySDzEFbkwAznfoClrHp2-E6Z2b_gxQ7rbg-umA/s1600/D9E8B369-8EBA-40D4-A795-C0FFCC7AB940.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzXymzadAVKdw2Vz13-FN_iXhNz1tdRRXdivFElOqGlTBhpwr6_192fIB-LVUZWI0BLbc8h0Y82GK-AcetQwFcmZ8aHz4ZuIc6r7XvySDzEFbkwAznfoClrHp2-E6Z2b_gxQ7rbg-umA/s640/D9E8B369-8EBA-40D4-A795-C0FFCC7AB940.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coco helping me carry home groceries in the utterly worthless free bags from Coop, way back in the day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Yesterday, I went to the grocery store. Standard enough, right? Not really. I realized yesterday that I have mostly adjusted to American grocery stores and it felt like a win! I went to Super 1 Foods, which is a gigantic grocery store up on 29th, a “busy street” in our very residential, sweet neighborhood. There is everything easy about going to Super 1 from an expat perspective.<br />
<ul>
<li>I drive there in about 7 minutes and park in the parking lot - for free! </li>
<li>At check-out, they bag my groceries for me, in my bag of choice - also for free!</li>
<li>If I want someone to help me out to the car, they will push the cart out to the car (even if there are children in said cart, so that my hands are free to find keys), and then they help me to put the bags in the car, and finally, take the cart back to the store for me - also for FREE!</li>
</ul>
On top of all this, while in the store, I can buy <u>so many</u> ingredients for Mexican food and there are dozens and dozens of options to choose from in each category. Enchilada sauces, taco seasoning packets, guacamole packets, hot sauces galore! Tajin, authentic tortillas and tortilla chips, spices, all the salsas! It’s quite wonderful. Then there is the same thing in the Asian aisle. Multiple varieties of rice noodles and curry pastes and Sriracha and chili garlic sauce in a jar. Yum! <br />
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But there is a very dark side to shopping at Super 1, too. For the first few years we were back, I basically never went there. And when I did, I literally had to psych myself up and prep mentally for a trip to Super 1. As with any jumbo American supermarket, Super 1 is just SO big and vast inside. And it’s sooooo cold in there in the summer. It felt like I was spending hours and hours just walking around when I would go there and it stressed me out. Why were there so many aisles? Why were there so many of each thing?! Why. For a long time, I stuck to Trader Joe’s because it felt more like a European grocery store (minus the practically freezing temperatures) and it didn’t give me the sheer anxiety that Super 1 did. I had a short list of things that I didn’t necessarily need all the time that I would buy at Super 1. It included:<br />
<ul>
<li>my favorite organic <a href="https://amzn.to/2Ovn3oV" target="_blank">Southwest Taco seasoning</a> (I used to order 12-packs on Amazon and take them back to Zurich in my suitcase on trips home;)</li>
<li>Krab salad from their deli and Ritz crackers (I’m sorry, it’s just so good. Don’t judge) </li>
<li>Hot sauces, like Tapatio, Frank’s Red Hot, Cholula and salsas (duh!)</li>
<li>Jaunita’s Tortilla Chips (the absolute best!) </li>
<li>Romaine lettuce (random) </li>
<li>Doritos (the best ghetto garnish for a taco salad I make in the summer)</li>
<li>French Salad dressing (second ghetto ingredient for said taco salad, but so yum)</li>
<li>Heinz 57 ketchup in the stand up squeezer that ensures you never squeeze that yucky ketchup water out onto your burger or hot dog, (but which J always puts in the fridge cap side up anyway! Drrh)</li>
<li>C&H white sugar (big bag!) </li>
<li>Canning supplies for freezer jam</li>
</ul>
Basically it was just the most random assortment of stuff that you can’t get (or which isn’t very good - romaine, I’m looking at you) at Trader Joe’s. But I avoided it. I avoided Super 1 because something about that gigantic, sprawling grocery store filled with scary things like Twinkies and gross, unethically raised, non-organic meats made me cringe inside. And not just cringe. I would get literally panicky and wind up leaving without half the things I needed if I didn’t have a list. Yikes! And yes, I realize that Trader Joe’s has plenty of bad meats, but the packaging is cuter. I was so relieved when a friend told me that she had a panic attack in a giant grocery store after moving back to the US from Zurich. She literally ditched the cart with everything in it in a random aisle and left the store crying. I get it! I totally get it.<br />
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In a way it makes sense, because even in Portland, we did our shopping at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and the best grocery store ever, New Seasons. Fred Meyer freaked me out, as did Safeway. By the way, Super 1 makes your average Safeway look pretty small. All of our stores in Portland were pretty small. In Switzerland, there are two main grocery stores. Migros and Coop. Most people are either a Migros person or a Coop person, but very few are both. I was a Coop person all the way from the very beginning when I went to Neuchâtel in 2006. Neighborhood Migros and Coops were pretty small, the size of a Trader Joe’s, while at major shopping centers, there would be a “big” Coop or Migros. But even the big Coop we went to at Sihlcity didn’t freak me out the way Super 1 does. I guess some things just don’t make sense.<br />
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But yesterday, I realized something when I went to Super 1. Granted, getting out of the parking lot afterward was kind of annoying, but driving is annoying period, especially in Spokane. Ha! So I won’t let that color my experience, because in the store, maybe for the first time, I was totally at ease! It struck me that I know where everything is now! I bought my favorite salsas and sour cream and grabbed some Tillamook cheese that was on sale and these adorable Mission “street taco” corn tortillas for making baby quesadillas. And I swung by the bakery to check out cakes for Theo’s birthday, got a bottle of Pinot Grigio, went through the check out and went on my merry way. All good. It only took five years! ;)<br />
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Fellow repats, what has been hard for you to adjust to when moving back home? Or, maybe you’re not a repat and find big grocery stores scary regardless? Tell me all about it in the comments below! Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-1731516869927448992019-07-24T15:02:00.001-07:002019-07-24T19:19:29.670-07:00Homeland Season 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU-XjdeK0OHzRDOXwApOU77-iT-IRFfMHxhBbZFYgRMPrvf11psMGuX7BgSqbr1WvmOdunl_jf6sXVscJjyssKMwuwhrB-YMBLzTnDlyptrulAvWK2vPVweWU7tfz7i1WrGQ6dlfluKA/s1600/1EE504B1-65C4-4A5B-A7B4-7A17C051E28A.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="439" data-original-width="780" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU-XjdeK0OHzRDOXwApOU77-iT-IRFfMHxhBbZFYgRMPrvf11psMGuX7BgSqbr1WvmOdunl_jf6sXVscJjyssKMwuwhrB-YMBLzTnDlyptrulAvWK2vPVweWU7tfz7i1WrGQ6dlfluKA/s640/1EE504B1-65C4-4A5B-A7B4-7A17C051E28A.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I have been bummed that Homeland was postponed - again! - until Fall. But at the same time, I am sort of happy that they’re not releasing it during the summer. I mean, summer is a time to be outside, not sitting on the couch. So we don’t actually need Homeland right now anyway. And with it being the last season, it’s kind of going to suck to watch each episode knowing there won’t be any more. Like, it will really suck.<br />
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But I still wanted some Homeland in my life for some reason. I have thought back often to season one when Carrie and Brody met face-to-face for the first time after the surveillance was taken down. Do you remember the episode when she follows him to the support group meeting for returned vets? I have thought about that episode a lot as a repat because I wish I had a group like that to go to. I guess that is why I started <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-expat-repat-podcast/id1441932098" target="_blank">the podcast</a>, really. I couldn’t find the podcast <i>I was looking for</i>, so I just created it myself, and a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/719715798387487/?ref=share" target="_blank">Facebook group</a> to go along with it. But even though I love doing the podcast, and I know it’s helping people, I would still love to be able to get together <u>in person</u> with a group of other repats who get it and share.<br />
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For one of my grad school courses last winter, we had to attend a support group meeting - either AA or NA, or any type really. Just a group of people coming together to share a common struggle. I went to an AA meeting and I was bowled over by the non-judgment and support and comfort of it <i>for me</i> - as a repat! Obviously I was open about being there for school and didn’t share or anything, but there is something about a group of people coming together that is just powerful. I really wished that I could go back. Struggling with this process of repatriation is just so lonely and hard and J and I can only give each other so much understanding and support. I would just love, love, love a meeting.<br />
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So back to Homeland - J and I went back and watched the episode when Carrie and Brody meet outside the support group meeting. And then, it turns out that season one is so good that we’re just watching it all over again anyway. But oh my god, Carrie and Brody’s exchange in the parking lot went right over my head when I watched it as an expat in Switzerland, but it stabbed me right through the heart watching it now.<br />
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<i>Brody: Can I ask you a question - where was it you said you served again - Baghdad?</i><br />
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<i>Carrie: Yeah</i><br />
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<i>Brody: How come it’s so hard to talk about it with people who weren’t there? </i><br />
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<i>Carrie: I have a better question, how come it’s so hard to talk with anyone who wasn’t there about anything at all?</i><br />
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Well, there it is. Sometimes life is fine being back here. Sometimes I feel like I’m totally okay. Sometimes I feel like I will die if I don’t get back to Zürich. Sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin and scream. Other times I want to sleep all day. Then there are the urges to run away from everything - motherhood, marriage, turning 40 - just screw it all and go live on an island. And then sometimes I want to put my most euphoric playlist on my AirPods as loud as it will go and dance by myself with my eyes closed. No matter what, it’s a perfect storm. Change, impermanence, longing, regret, wishing, waiting, aging, the sense of everything slipping away. I simultaneously want to hold on to all of it forever and also just burn it all down. So yeah, a group would be good.<br />
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If you’re a former expat (what I call a repat) then you might feel great reading all that because you get it and you see that I get it and it makes you feel less alone and okay. If you’re not a repat, then you probably think I’m insane and need some help. Fret not. I’m okay, that’s just how repat life is, and tomorrow is a new day.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-86718359998072276312019-05-30T22:17:00.000-07:002019-05-30T22:17:17.414-07:00Repat: Crying In The Car<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Apparently, one of the litmus tests for being a real New Yorker is having cried while walking down the street. I have never openly cried while walking down a street anywhere, but here is something I do do: I cry in my car. The car is the perfect place to cry because you’re completely alone. This is not true, of course. You’re in your car! Any of the dozens of strangers all around you, either crossing the street, walking on the sidewalk, or driving in their own car literally right next to you, would see you if they happened to look your way. But the thing is, no one does look your way. Driving is one of the most isolating, lonely experiences a person has in the States. It’s one of, if not <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2017/03/an-appraisal-of-values-and-more-on.html" target="_blank">the thing</a>, I hate the most as a repat. Now, I have discovered it has its silver lining in that the isolation and loneliness leaves you free to cry as you drive.</div>
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In Zurich, I would sometimes take a very quiet, solitary walk on the Hambergersteig, a steep footpath in the hills above our house whenever I needed to have a moment to catch my breath, hear myself think, or formulate something I was writing. This is one of the funny things about being a mom and living in a small apartment or house with your family, and also working and not really having a lot of time alone ever: It’s tough to find time to reflect and connect with yourself. The Hambergersteig had a balcony sort of landing, which opened up and jutted out from under the tree cover about half way up the winding path. There was a bench with a grand, sweeping view of the lake. It was the perfect place to sit and watch the boats go in and out on the Zurisee. I loved sitting there and thinking. It was so quiet and intimate. It would actually be the perfect place to go have a good cry.</div>
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But there is no Hambergersteig around here. These days, I’m so busy fulfilling one role or another all the time that whenever I’m alone driving that is my me time. Often I’ll listen to podcasts. Or just sit in silence and try to hear my own thoughts. But the last few days, I’ve been listening to my old favorite albums. Air Moon Safari, of course, and also Radiohead OK Computer, which is probably the best album of all time and truly a delight to listen to on a really good car stereo at really high volume. With the bizarrely frantic exhaustion that comes with the end of the school year looming, and finding my way to turning 40 this fall, and basically having some sort of weird mid-life thing going on, it turns out it’s is the perfect soundtrack for a good car cry, too. I can’t really say what I was crying about. Mostly I think I was just tired. I love that album, and it carries so many memories and moments for me and it was so cathartic and I felt so much better afterward.</div>
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How is life for you lately? Are you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Do you sometimes just need a good cry?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Photo via <a href="https://pin.it/edfoar4qt22zla" target="_blank">Shop Style</a>/Pinterest)</span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-18726305704289171982019-05-28T11:36:00.000-07:002019-05-28T11:40:44.618-07:00Visible: The Best Mobile Phone Service<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS2Ji7SdpVCN0RyqkScrW9NA6m9D4Kripvo5TlxbCEiyw82E8yhJACVI-OaiIyKfVcBpa26TPJO70HKVTUP7uNx4Qk6UZF5nO-xvEeA_9kb_xpHUpaR4doUp39mtE_psINPYgIAziG1A/s1600/IMG_5540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1113" data-original-width="1125" height="632" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS2Ji7SdpVCN0RyqkScrW9NA6m9D4Kripvo5TlxbCEiyw82E8yhJACVI-OaiIyKfVcBpa26TPJO70HKVTUP7uNx4Qk6UZF5nO-xvEeA_9kb_xpHUpaR4doUp39mtE_psINPYgIAziG1A/s640/IMG_5540.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Have you heard of <a href="https://www.visible.com/referral/tFcCF" target="_blank">Visible</a>? Okaaaaay then. I have so much to say (mostly bad!) about cell phone service and buying phones since getting back to the States. </div>
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Raise your hand if you miss the old model where you committed to two years of service with a provider, and then they gave you a phone at a deep discount, and everyone went on their merry way? Drrh. Those days are gone. </div>
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I seriously started losing my mind back in September when the new iPhones were released and I needed to replace my iPhone 6 like nobody's business. Once upon a time, I thought that that 6 would be the one and only phone I would own during my American sojourn. But, those dreams were dashed, and then I decided to go get another Masters degree, and here we are. I have a brand spanking new, expensive as heck, iPhone XS as of March. </div>
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But back in the fall, all of the providers were completely changing their phone selling structure and introducing these long term loans which meant you tacked on 30 or 40 bucks to your monthly bill, ultimately paying full price for the phone and then they simultaneously jacked all their rates around and we were generally going broke on cellular service. You know what I'm talking about. </div>
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We were with AT&T for sooooo long and one day, I set aside an hour and called their customer service to get some ideas of how we could lower our bill. The person I spoke to said we could go to a 6GB plan and save $15 per month, but somehow, when I got the next bill, it was a $5 increase and when I called to fix it, they said the old 12GB plan was not available, but for another $10 per month, I could step up to the 8GB plan. Seriously, WTF?! Could they not hear what they were actually saying to me? "Yeah, sorry, we can't do that, but you can pay more and get less?" Drrh! </div>
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As if that wasn't bad enough, the taxes and fees were so high and changing <i>all the time</i>. Side note: Do you read your phone bill? You should. AT&T said that we could purchase new phones at a discount through their loyalty program, but only if we switched to their unlimited plan, which was going to be something like $165 per month for our two lines before taxes and fees. Ultimately, I got so mad that I switched to Sprint, which basically does not work anywhere. I had to wave my phone above my head to send a text from my driveway, or stand on my bed to send a text from my bedroom, or press myself up against the window in the living room to make a call. Even after calling Sprint and updating the carrier settings on my phone, it just did not work.</div>
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Enter <a href="https://visible.com/referral/tFcCF" target="_blank">Visible</a>. </div>
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One day, I was scrolling on Instagram while waiting in line at Trader Joe's, and I saw an ad for Visible. At that point, I knew a good phone plan when I saw one. In my humble opinion, here are the top 7 reasons you should ditch your current provider and switch to Visible <a href="https://visible.com/referral/tFcCF" target="_blank">right now</a>.</div>
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<ol>
<li>Unlimited talk, text and data for just $40 per month, taxes and fees <i>included</i>. No more guessing how much that auto debit will be. It's just $40 per month. Flat. Pay with PayPal, Venmo, bank transfer, debit card - your choice!</li>
<li>No stores, no phone number. Visible uses all online customer service through chat, text and tweet and it's actually really nice to never have to <strike>talk to anyone</strike> listen to someone read off of a script. I get an immediate response every time I contact Visible and they are so helpful and basically bent over backward to make sure our phones arrived before we left for Miami.</li>
<li>Best of all, Visible uses the Verizon 4G LTE network, so it works <u>everywhere</u>. Even in Spokane, and that is saying a lot.</li>
<li>You can bring your own device, or finance a new one with rates as low as 0% through Affirm.</li>
<li>Keep your phone number!</li>
<li>Get $20 off of your first month of service if you sign up though my referral link/code: <a href="https://visible.com/referral/tFcCF" target="_blank">tFcCF</a>. </li>
<li>And, you'll get a $200 MasterCard gift card for switching to Visible.</li>
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We have been soooo happy with <a href="https://www.visible.com/referral/tFcCF" target="_blank">Visible</a>. I cannot even tell you. The $200 gift card arrives after you pay for your second month of service, so we got ours last week. I have no more dropped calls or failed texts now that we're on Visible. If I'm in a spot that doesn't have WiFi, I can use the personal hotspot on my phone to connect my iPad or laptop to the internet (something you can't do on the Sprint plan we had), and I am constantly streaming music, watching videos on YouTube, or listening to podcasts on the go with no issues!</div>
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I am not a Visible affiliate, and this is not a sponsored post. I just love Visible so much, and have been so happy to find them amid a world of crappy, overpriced mobile service, and I thought who knows, maybe you are looking for a new phone plan, too? :)<br />
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Now the other thing I'm disappointed with since repatriating is INTERNET. Our Swisscom internet/tv/phone bundle was SO fast and so affordable. I miss it. Any tips for me there? Thank you for reading my mobile phone saga, and definitely check out Visible and get <a href="https://visible.com/referral/tFcCF" target="_blank">your $200 MasterCard gift card and $20 off</a>. You won't regret it!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Image via <a href="https://www.instagram.com/visiblemobile/" target="_blank">Visible</a>/Instagram)</span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-13699349841138595862019-05-24T12:35:00.001-07:002019-05-24T12:39:47.359-07:00Happy Memorial Day Weekend!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglc76Fv4KjMyjpyjk6y7Fda9KepAiGv7hhTG7VzxnFlmUPNcRyKpAgvqt2UN9Qvb3Mo5Rvnomjq3UIp5ccqw3plxLnJLgANA3TNkvnX6LopXesBGVDwYRvF501vczcuAf5G2MDX0c5zw/s1600/normandy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="427" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglc76Fv4KjMyjpyjk6y7Fda9KepAiGv7hhTG7VzxnFlmUPNcRyKpAgvqt2UN9Qvb3Mo5Rvnomjq3UIp5ccqw3plxLnJLgANA3TNkvnX6LopXesBGVDwYRvF501vczcuAf5G2MDX0c5zw/s640/normandy.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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Have you been to the Beaches at Normandy? As an American studying in France, that was one of the most memorable day trips we took during my semester abroad. The beaches are startlingly beautiful, and quiet, with memorials and old Nazi bunkers still standing. It was profound and sobering to stand there and think of the horrors of WWII. So much respect and gratitude to those, and all, in the armed services. I can't believe it's already Memorial Day Weekend. For those of you not in the US, this is a day of remembrance for service members who have passed away. <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2016/05/remembering-my-dad.html" target="_blank">My dad</a> served in the US Navy during Vietnam, so we always go out to visit his grave on Memorial Day.<br />
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Aside from that, I am going to get a new podcast episode up Sunday, go for a pedicure, have a Mama-Coco afternoon, and get out <a href="https://amzn.to/2YFSopc" target="_blank">this book</a> and get started ahead of summer vacation! And, here are some interesting, fun and charming links for your weekend. <br />
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Warning: You'll never quite be the same after watching <a href="https://youtu.be/NkRkuI0ZgX0" target="_blank">this music video</a>.<br />
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Coco is old enough for my favorite <a href="https://amzn.to/2YL7No3" target="_blank">childhood road trip staple</a>! :)<br />
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<a href="https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/how-to-find-a-lost-cat-unique-method-from-japan-proves-to-be-surprisingly-effective?" target="_blank">How to find a lost cat</a>. (Very cool!)<br />
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I just ordered this <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fsupergoop-sun-defying-sunscreen-oil-with-meadowfoam-spf-50%2F3913114%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Dnone" target="_blank">oil sunscreen</a> and I can't wait for it to arrive! One reviewer says it's better than body lotion during the summer. Yassss.<br />
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Did you already <a href="https://www.expatrepat.ch/2019/05/episode-nine-tina-busch-from-lost-repat.html" target="_blank">listen</a>?! <br />
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<a href="https://qz.com/1363294/the-american-academy-of-pediatrics-is-telling-doctors-to-start-prescribing-play/?fbclid=IwAR2YU6EQHUcG_FvXIFLsJ_7PbV0GMJOxmXTJKpE5Fb8QBzSpZPEa96o4Dc8" target="_blank">Prescribing play</a>. (And <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2019/05/montessori-benign-neglect-and-boredom.html" target="_blank">boredom</a>, in case you missed it)<br />
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Theo's <a href="https://amzn.to/2YE5V0k" target="_blank">favorite board game</a> as of late.<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/KUTV2News/videos/2380353698865309/" target="_blank">Infinite cuteness</a>.<br />
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So <a href="https://vimeo.com/335984530" target="_blank">intense, imaginative and colorful</a>. I'm swooning!<br />
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Maybe this will end the <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=IeOQ1COdJL0&mid=1237&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fshop.nordstrom.com%2Fs%2Fsunshine-glitter-sea-star-sparkle-spf-50-sunscreen%2F5146486%3Forigin%3Dkeywordsearch-personalizedsort%26breadcrumb%3DHome%252FAll%2520Results%26color%3Daqua" target="_blank">sunscreen battle</a> with Coco? ;)<br />
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I hope your weekend is lovely and filled with remembrance of those you're missing, particularly former service members. See you back here next week!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Photo of Omaha Beach, Normandy via <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/markwesley/1148051946/" target="_blank">Mark Wesley</a>) </span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-26315252503908256792019-05-20T14:00:00.000-07:002019-05-20T14:03:37.425-07:00Montessori: Benign Neglect and Boredom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhusa5q7lEeDkn5JGaPPrjvyp-W4qyJVXhtWkEsBT_cTSZoLuq7J5oxNHbZsB_q8gyRh0uV8P28Kg3EwRPUp_Oh4lFF-fMGNpcVxjREAUMMNRwm6qj2yDhpot5kmAkCg-B8xv0vyl_Yig/s1600/IMG_5520%25281%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhusa5q7lEeDkn5JGaPPrjvyp-W4qyJVXhtWkEsBT_cTSZoLuq7J5oxNHbZsB_q8gyRh0uV8P28Kg3EwRPUp_Oh4lFF-fMGNpcVxjREAUMMNRwm6qj2yDhpot5kmAkCg-B8xv0vyl_Yig/s640/IMG_5520%25281%2529.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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One of the biggest takeaways from my Montessori training course way back in 2004-05 was the concept of benign neglect. Benign neglect describes the moment when we are just hands-off enough to give our children the space, time and freedom necessary for exploration, curiosity and learning - without it being unsafe in any way. Our lecturer gave an example of a little baby she had seen on the bus several days prior. The baby's mom was sitting with her baby on her lap, deep in thought staring out the window, and while the mother zoned out, her baby leaned forward and starting mouthing the pole just in front of their seat. Germophobes might not consider this benign neglect, but a baby's way of understanding the world is to put things in their mouth, something adults are always stopping them from doing. Most of the time, this is necessary and protects the child from choking or other harm. But in this case, without the mom's interference, the baby was able to explore and learn and it probably did not result in any harm later. Make sense?<br />
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For the last two or three months, I have had so many moms at work, or school pick-up, or at the park ask me which camps and activities we've signed our kids up for this summer. Without fail they all gasp when I reply that we haven't signed them up for <i>any!</i> Even other couples who are both in education and therefore are both home all summer long are amazed that we don't have our kids fully booked. "Everything is filling up!" they say, "August will be smoky and you don't want to be stuck at home entertaining your kids!" is another popular one. "Kids get so bored in the summer - save yourself!" is another common refrain.<br />
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Usually I keep my mouth shut, because I don't want to be that "Montessori mom" who deprives her children in other people's eyes, but finally I just said to a mom last week that I want my kids to be bored in the summer. She looked a little concerned, so I went on to explain that children need to have huge chunks of unstructured, unscheduled time during which adults are not facilitating and dictating their every move, or activity, or idea. This boredom is the only way a child human being can learn to listen to the whispers of intrinsic motivation inside their own brain and soul and begin to discover their own interests. Research on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theta_wave" target="_blank">Theta brainwaves</a>, the state that our minds enter into when we're meditating, or in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)" target="_blank">flow</a>, shows that children from 0-7 are almost constantly in a Theta state in their brains. That means this is the most powerful time in one's life to discover and learn and get to know oneself, a task made impossible by too much adult interference and direction.<br />
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In the photo above, J had taken Coco and Theo on a hike and set up the hammock. He lay in the hammock and read a book while Coco and Theo found themselves with nothing to do. As frequent recipients of benign neglect, they got down to business without prompting and concocted a game of sticks and twigs that, while incomprehensible to any adult within earshot, was riveting and compelling to them. They focused their full attention on their game and had a great time for nearly an hour until it was time to go and J snapped this photo.<br />
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In the article, "<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/06/for-better-school-results-clear-the-schedule-and-let-kids-play/373144/?fbclid=IwAR0EQNAn4XxKzzOSYDfzEMRLXHjzdoafq2hRPmZaNjrZ7Zoo9o1zGO12cfU" target="_blank"><i>Why Free Play is the Best Summer School</i></a>," from the June 2014 issue of <i>The Atlantic</i>, author Jessica Lahey writes,<br />
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Unscheduled, unsupervised, playtime is one of the most valuable educational opportunities we give our children. It is fertile ground; the place where children strengthen social bonds, build emotional maturity, develop cognitive skills, and shore up their physical health. </blockquote>
I could not agree more. In interviews, David Lynch often credits his early childhood in Spokane, which was filled with wandering around the <a href="http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2018/feb/12/ponderosa-pines/" target="_blank">Ponderosas</a>, daydreaming, as a huge source of his creativity. And he has devoted himself to <a href="https://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/about-tm.html" target="_blank">transcendental meditation</a>, which mimics the Theta brain state of early childhood, boosting creativity and imagination. This is not a coincidence.<br />
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It's not always easy to provide this beneficial boredom for children. Sometimes on the weekends, once J and I are up and have turned off the television and confiscated the iPad (parents have got to sleep, you know?!;) Coco and Theo will whine and moan and gripe that they have nothing to do. We acknowledge that it's true that they have nothing to do and then suggest that they <i>find </i>something to do. Sometimes the whining goes on for a long time. It feels like forever because it's hard to listen to and really annoying. But we stay the course! It's a matter of staying consistent and forcing them to push through the boredom and into flow. They find flow in drawing and clay, puttering around the garden, Legos, and blocks. Theo is a huge fan of walking around the backyard singing and looking up at the trees. Coco gets completely absorbed in dollhouse play. And once, when she was a baby, she played with a single blade of grass with such intensity and focus for over half an hour. <br />
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This is not to say that we don't do things together, like bake cookies, or watch movies, or dye Easter eggs with our kids. We do. In those activities, we are the adults in charge, facilitating and directing our children. But I definitely do not see it as my job to do those things all the time, or to keep my children entertained. Quite the opposite! This summer, my children will be bored, and it will be good for them.<br />
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What's your approach to summer - free play and boredom, or scheduled and planned-out activities? Why do you do summer the way you do?Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2556494314801577420.post-78279318197736017922019-05-17T14:20:00.001-07:002019-05-20T14:04:07.040-07:00Have a brilliant weekend!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3NKqxZj3MS2ETumO7OD6TyRvbUyU0I4i5bxsD0VaDLi80PvkR_3i51_HTbKGGwVG3b6ZV0pdB3TNTgT2lxR6C5XysoRCdE1w5kviwE6-KhsII6hp6nHZuEBNTemz2zLIu8xf2RX0R6Q/s1600/zurichcity+slider.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="980" data-original-width="1600" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3NKqxZj3MS2ETumO7OD6TyRvbUyU0I4i5bxsD0VaDLi80PvkR_3i51_HTbKGGwVG3b6ZV0pdB3TNTgT2lxR6C5XysoRCdE1w5kviwE6-KhsII6hp6nHZuEBNTemz2zLIu8xf2RX0R6Q/s640/zurichcity+slider.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I have this gorgeous photo of Zurich as the wallpaper on my monitors at work. My two favorite parts about it are the archway in the pink building, lower right, that I've walked through so many times. And the little tiny dock on the river in front of the large salmon colored building on the opposite bank, more or less in the center of the photo. The other day, my friend Kate posted <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BuYn6JHlylT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank">a photo</a> in her stories taken from that dock, showing the church towers from which this photo was taken. It made me laugh to think that I was up in the church tower waving down to her since I’ve grown so accustomed to looking at this view every day. ;) Lately I've been missing Zurich terribly. I'm enjoying Spokane and springtime and lilacs (and the lack of hayfever!) but I still miss Zurich. I really did leave my heart there.<br />
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Do you have any big plans this weekend? An outdoor pizza party we were invited to has been rescheduled due to the <a href="https://www.khq.com/news/traffic-alert-standing-water-causing-problems-across-spokane/video_428059de-783d-11e9-a00d-e72885dd0813.html" target="_blank">insane rainstorm</a> that came through yesterday. I have never seen rain like that in the Northwest! It was on the same level as rains that caused flash flooding the summer I was in Maryland finishing up my Masters before I moved to Switzerland <a href="http://swisslark.blogspot.com/2006/08/voyage-and-arrival-in-pictures.html" target="_blank">the first time</a>. So, in the absence of a pizza party, I think we're going to clean all day tomorrow and make <a href="http://www.swisslark.com/2016/05/making-pavlova.html" target="_blank">Pavlova </a>and do a movie night!<br />
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I hope you have a brilliant weekend, and here are some links for you.<br />
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Please vote for Swiss Lark in this <a href="https://sparpedia.ch/auszeichnungen/best-expat-blogs-2019/" target="_blank">blog contest</a>! And thank you to whoever nominated me. :)<br />
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A <a href="https://www.facebook.com/braddelcat/posts/10156533104049200" target="_blank">comical look</a> at the flooding down the hill from our house. Ha!! (I love it when I see the Spokane Boat Car;)<br />
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The perfect <a href="https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=400815444088441" target="_blank">rainy weekend recipe</a>.<br />
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I tried this <a href="https://shopstyle.it/l/3slH" target="_blank">exfoliating treatment mask</a> last night and loved it! More in my Insta stories. <br />
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Such <a href="https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2019/apr/21/searchers-recover-bodies-of-spokane-climber-jess-r/?fbclid=IwAR1Ggbur0CRC7ehPFsv3RVJIDnGV0X9VpySCURB2Z9nYXjooCWqacCZPwbE" target="_blank">sad news</a> for the climbing world, and Spokane.<br />
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Although houseplants grow and require care, they are <a href="https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2018/08/06/instead-of-houses-young-people-have-houseplants?fsrc=scn/fb/te/bl/ed/insteadofhousesyoungpeoplehavehouseplantsdailychart&fbclid=IwAR3k44hTbJGo-fkKJzumJe8WgwB7OqV9x0Hu8DktyMJPn2JdrXuxDmQpgqY" target="_blank">neither as demanding nor as costly</a> as pets or children. <br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BuZTahMHgHq/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank">Motherhood</a>. (Read her original caption - link might transport you to the middle of the comments:)<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxfaGn_B_BN/" target="_blank">This</a>.<br />
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I kinda think <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/16/arts/television/binge-watch-game-of-thrones.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&fbclid=IwAR3z9ifJPpztx5GHHT0TM4Ccw8Xopwx5UubmLBKulmZsQmDppgnGi25Qg7c" target="_blank">we might need to do this</a>... <br />
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<a href="https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-newborn-infants-can-tell-if-parents-are-los-1819573372?fbclid=IwAR1rmGwsN9Qh3sHjlDo2dGOG3ig5aPG7UghNWE3nV1c4ML5DvOFBSzORkmE" target="_blank">LOL</a>!<br />
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See you back here next week!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04836394671525240199noreply@blogger.com0