Give me my Dan Brown book, please.

March 18, 2019


Every time I go on a trip, if at all possible, I buy a Dan Brown book. Go ahead. Laugh out loud. Gasp! Judge me in your head. I do not care. You can give me a little credit here because I did call it a book, not a novel. But before you write me off and get all judgey, let me tell you that I will be the happiest person on that beach.

Do you know how I describe Dan Brown books? I say they're like chips for your brain. You know the feeling when you open a bag of chips and you start chomping on them and they're just so yummy and crunchy, and if you've chosen well then they have that crack salt all over them and you're just like, more, more, more?! Well, that my friends is your brain on a Dan Brown book. It's unadulterated, page-flipping goodness and if you've read any Dan Brown at all (no, watching the movies does not count) then you know you secretly love it, just like you love Justin Bieber but pretend that you don't.

Well, pretend no more! I have no shame. I ordered Dan Brown's latest, Origin, which I have been saving for a special occasion involving air travel such as this one, and I cannot wait to read it. It arrived yesterday afternoon, and I have to say that it was a total game changer for me. I was beginning to completely freak out over leaving the kids behind. I've been losing sleep and imagining the worst. But when I held that Dan Brown paperback in my hands, our trip flashed before my eyes and I remembered how totally awesome and good for us this is going to be.

On the way there, sans children, our first flight is a 45-minute Horizon Air flight, which offers free Northwest beer or wine to all passengers. That will be the ideal way to give a toast and kick off the celebration of not only my little brother's epic wedding, but also our first vacation since having kids! Then, after a layover in Seattle, we'll be on a red-eye to Miami and I will be taking an Ambien and checking out, because again, no children. Already this trip sounds like a trip to the spa.

Once we arrive, it will be an ungodly hour on the west coast, but with no children in tow, it will be easy to get ourselves to our hotel, check our luggage if the early check-in my brother's wedding planner requested isn't available, and then go grab some breakfast. No car seats, no crying. After breakfast, I figure we'll head down to the beach if our room still isn't available.

It shall be there, on my beach chair, that I open and begin my Dan Brown novel book. I'm so excited to get reacquainted with Robert Langdon and his attractive, smart young female protege, and learn some obscure historical art facts and read at a furious pace and flip the pages as fast as I can. There will be no children to interrupt me, or to want things like lunch or dinner. None of that! I'm going to be reading Dan Brown on the beach, in the warm sun, uninterrupted. Total ecstasy. Later on, I will read Dan Brown on our private ocean-view balcony. Either will do! Did I mention how badly we've needed a break? I'm so ready.

In conclusion, Dan Brown forever. Be looking for that hashtag in my Instagram posts and stories! ;) And does anyone know when Dan intends to publish his next book? I've not come up with anything in my Google searches. But he does have a Masterclass. Eeek! Should I take it?! Probably not.

Tell me your favorite Dan Brown book in the comments below. Do not even think about criticizing him. Brain chips, remember?! Books, not novels. Writing, not literature. Just to get things started, I will say that I think Da Vinci Code and Inferno are my favorites. But it's so hard to pick just one! Angels and Demons was so good, too. And The Lost Symbol. But, Paris! I'm sticking with Da Vinci Code.

Are you an out-in-the-open Dan Brown lover; or a closeted fan? You can always comment as "anonymous" if the latter.

(Photo via Hyatt Hotels)

Join the conversation!

  1. Okay so. I used to apply the stigma to Dan Brown too, despite having loved (along with millions of others) The DaVinci Code. He may not grab at your emotions, but he knows how to get you to turn a page. And the sheer amount of WORK that goes into his books. Whoah.

    So I took his Master Class because I already have a subscription, and let me tell you: If you have any interest whatsoever in writing (or are even just curious about the process of writing) a thriller, his class alone is 100% worth the cost of signing up for master class. I've taken several others and, to be honest, Dan's kind of ruined those and any I've tried to start since. He used to be a teacher, and man does it show! Even if you don't want to write thrillers, his class is full of useful storytelling information. Most of the other "classes" are like listening to creators talk about how they create. But his is listening to a creator TEACH how he creates. Such a difference. I can't recommend it enough -- so much so that my hackles raise a little now when someone insults the Brown. ;)

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  2. Now i know why you love your dan brown book so much, thanks for sharing.
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