My New Name

When J and I got married, I didn't change my name. But when Coco came along, I started having second thoughts. Here was my daughter whom I loved more than anything under the sun and she and my husband, whom I also love more than anything, had the same name, so shouldn't I have it, too? Duh. So this summer, while I was in the States, I went ahead and did it. It felt pretty crazy to do, but I had been deliberating long enough, I figured, why not? My God, changing your name is a pain! I'm still not done and I still find it confusing that now I have a different name. When I was in the DMV getting my new license, the woman asked me to sign my name in the box and I was sort of stunned, "Which name?" I asked. And she looked at me like I was a complete moron. Oh, jeez.

So now that I've switched it over on mostly everything, I still feel in-between. Like when I write an article for a magazine or submit a story to an essay contest, do I really use this new name? Or is it okay  to use my own name for things like that? Or should I use both? How have people done this for centuries? It is really weird.

Did you change your name when you got married? Or, finally when you had a baby? How long did it take you to feel like it was actually your name? ;)


  1. Congratulations on the new name! :) I never changed my name simply because my husband officially doesn't have a last name! I know it's strange but that's how it is in his home country!

  2. I changed it right away....I found it very confusing too...the difference between "officially" changing your name and the whole "just changing for marriage" confused me greatly!!! Legally you can use both now :) It's like a secret identity! ;)
    I was not overly attached to my original last name and my married name actually ends with a "man" as well (my given one ended with "mann" so it didn't feel too foreign ;)

  3. I am never planning on changing my name (this Michelle M.) - that is if I get a chance to do so - lol. I would just find it alienating I think. But then again my mom didn't change her name either so it seemed normal in my family.

  4. I changed it right away and it was SO STRESSFUL. Changing my names on airline mileage accounts was by far the worst.


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